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What would you do if this was your niece?

I babysit my niece 3-4 days a week while her mother works. I have her for about 12 hours a day and feed her every meal and give her all her baths, the days I dont have her are sunday -tuesday. She is almost 17 months now I just feel so sorry for how she is treated at home. I wouldn't call her parents terrible but her dad for one is a drug addict and doesn't like to feed her real food, she gets a bottle with formula most of the time and makes her take naps alot so he can sleep. She also gets VERY constipated because of the lack of good food, and by the time I get her each week I have to either give her suppositories or Miralax...I know her mom isnt as bad but she doesn't feed any of the kids healthy things and rarely gives them baths which is why I do it. Their house is never clean, its not unlivable but still, its not that great, especially with two animals living in the house, which btw is VERY VERY tiny. Her dad isn't around that much because her mom won't allow him, but when he is it gets bad. I feel like I'm the only one that cares to take care of her right, and dont know what to do. We cant afford another child but I hate sending her home. And no calling CPS isn't a solution, they aren't going to do anything because its not terrible, just not what I consider good enough.

Any ideas on how to help her? I'm trying my best but feel like its not enough.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Jun. 19, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • OP you can Pm me if you want. My MIL works for CPS in washington state so I can give you more info if I know for specifics.
    And guys she said that the dad wasn't around that much. I can see why she doesn't want to call. If CPS comes and finds it boarder line or ok then nothing will be done and if her sil finds out she called she may not let her watch the little one anymore.
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 4:11 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • What state do you live in?
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 3:58 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • kansas
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:59 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • You just do the best you can for her while she is with you.
    Jessica157

    Answer by Jessica157 at 4:00 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I know you said cps isn't an option and it might not be. However each state has their own guidlines of what is acceptable, mildly unacceptable and hideous. The PNWern states have fairly high standards most of the time. How about calling and asking for a list of what they look for when they go in the house?
    Trust me hun there's things they look for that most of us never would have thought. And the fact that she lets the dad come by at all is going to be a point against her if they see it.
    Something else to consider is that she may just be overwhelmed. She may just need to take a couple of classes on food and parenting or something.
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 4:02 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • hmm im not sure what else ther is to do besides call cps and if he is doing drugs thats enough of a reason
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 4:02 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • My MIL is a social worker and we've dealt with CPS with them before and nothing happened. We dont want her put in foster care either but the only family is my and my DH and my MIL who physically cant take care of her. I just dont know what to do. The MOST I can do is if her dad shows up here to get her and is CLEARLY on something I can call the cops to make sure he cant take her, the thing is he's been on drugs for so long its only apparent to those that know him, and if you're around to watch him fall asleep out of no where. He goes to the methadone clinic so its not like there's cocaine or pot laying around the house.

    And as far as her being overwhelmed goes, she doesn't have the kids at all on weekends, she goes out drinks and parties and is basically just not meant to be a mother. She's just lazy when it comes down to it. We've offered to help teach her how to clean things the RIGHT way, and stuff, she just doesnt care
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:10 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • We actually just dealt with the father and cops a week ago and nothing was done. They eat but crap, they get baths, but maybe once a week or so. Their dad doesnt technically live there either so they didnt see a serious problem. Idk, but at the same time there is NO family that can take her in, we dont have the money or room and besides my MIL there isn't able to take her either. I'm looking for ideas other than CPS because I've known alot of people with drug abuse issues that didn't get their kids taken because they are taken care of...even if its not the standard most parents have.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:13 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • If your MIL isnt able to take the kids physically what about maybe helping out financially and having you take them?
    I'm sorry hun it's a tough decision. Especially since you already know what to look for. The only other suggestion I have is to maybe just go over and actually clean the house and take her shopping for healthy food (she pays you just pick it all out) that's fast an easy to prepare. But I don't know how she would take that.
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 4:15 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I'm actually from Washington and everything I've seen with my family up there standards are MUCH higher there than here. I mean their house isn't unlivable or anything, they all have decent clothes and their mom DOES work hard for everything they have but its more because she has to take care of them then wants things done a certain way and done right. Idk, Its hard because they ARE border line, and there are VERY few people that are invloved in their life so the two main suspects if CPS shows up more are ME and my MIL, who already is forbidden from seeing my niece most of the time.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:17 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

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