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3 Bumps

Was I wrong?...married mamas pls

So the other night dh and I had an arguement.
I got home pretty late thursday and the house was a mess so I.wanted to clean before bed. I can't sleep well with the house a mess. He wanted to sit down and talk. He is starting up a business and is excited about it! I am excited for him. He wanted to talk about it. I told him go head I am listening. He said no sit down. So I told him well lets compromise. We can sit down and talk. Can you help me clean once.we're done? His reponds was "and still get up in morning to do what I have to do?" uh....yea i gotta get up at 5:30 so whatcha saying?!
So now he is like you always complain bc we don't communicate but now that I want to talk you're giving me an altermative! I.wasn't looking at it like that I just wanted compromise. Isn't that whats marriage is about? So we got into a slight argument and I said lets let it go. You want to talk lets talk. I sat down and he said no bc it doesn't feel genuine. So now he is holding a grudge bc he said that I expect him to understand my feelings but I can't do the same and that I am not supporting him which is far from the truth. Thats all I been doing for the last 9 yrs is showing support. I think he is being childish and an asshole! I can never hold a grudge long. But apparently he wants to bc he is upset that I don't respect his feelings and blah blah blah...idk
so am I wrong? If I am pls tell me where I am wrong at. I just want to fix this and move on bc to me its childish.
Thanks for listening.

 
kyheavensmom

Asked by kyheavensmom at 8:43 PM on Jun. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,660 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I would have let the cleaning go (and I like my house clean almost all of the time). It could/should have waited. It sounds like your husband was excited and wanted to share it with you. You should have welcomed that...sorry. LOL
    zoomomto3

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 9:54 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I have learned to just sit down and talk when my hubby wants to talk. If I don't and try to compromise, I end up in the same situation as you. Just tell him, I just wanted to get the house cleaned up and was trying to compromise with you. I am ready to talk whenever you are. At least that is what I have done. I wish you lots of luck!!
    amber1330

    Answer by amber1330 at 8:59 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I would have just sat down and listened.... Since things went south, just go to him, say you're sorry, and tell him when he's ready to talk, you will be there to stop what you're doing and listen...
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:02 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • Think about if the shoe was on the other foot and he decided there was something in the garage that needed to be taken care of and you were having an issue with the children or something. I know you didn't want to go to bed with the house a mess, but the mess could have waited, it wouldn't be the end of the world. The conversation is more important than a mess for a few hours. And honey, my generation did not have men doing housework, even if the woman worked. We did it all. If you wanted a career, you knew it was in addition to the career that you had as a mother and housewife. Women today expect their DHs to do half of everything, but that is in addition to their manly duties like the lawn, repairs and such.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 10:04 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • your dh sounds like mine lol..i always want to drop things to and he does the same thing..i would just give him a few days or however long he needs to get over it..tell him grow up lol
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 8:51 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • Yep you should have probably just sat down and talk. Guys are not good at communicating and often if you don't get them at the right second than it is gone. I would have sat down and listened and then gone on with cleaning.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 9:14 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • Sry, not what you want to hear I am sure.. but you should have just listened.. cleaning can wait. I can understand you wanting help from him... but another argument for another day. good luck, say you're sorry and ready whenever he is ready to talk.
    Camilletnt

    Answer by Camilletnt at 9:24 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I probably would have just sat down and listened. I totally get where you're coming from though. I can't sleep with a messy house either.
    tspillane

    Answer by tspillane at 10:29 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • No i wouldnt say you are wrong just that your mind was working on a different tract than his was at the time.
    Sarah961

    Answer by Sarah961 at 10:32 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I think you were wrong!  Your dh wanted to talk about something that was really important to him (and your family) and you blew him off.    I would have been pissed if my dh had done that to me.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 10:45 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

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