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Fathers day question

Did you feel obligated to celebrate fathers day or do you really have a good relationship. My dads always been pretty crappy towards me, but because of my mom, we;ve always just gone with the flow. He missed pretty much all my birthdays and school events, he was abusive towards me when he would drink, going so far as beating me once with a leather belt so hard it broke in half. He was always really nasty to me, the reason for a long time why I had low self esteem. When I had my son he swore to me I'd ruined my life and when my bf at the time was abusive to me, he said I deserved it. My current bf says I hold on to a lot of things, because I remember it so well, but some things you can't forget. I forgave him, but we never had a real relationship, and probably never will as he still treats me poorly. This year I told myself I would stop doing things I don't want to do. I felt like I was obligated to celebrate holidays just because they exist. This year I stayed home.I know my family is mad at me and probably won't speak to me, but I don't feel you should celebrate someone for something they haven't done. I'm civil with him, theres no arguing or craziness when he comes around, he just doesn't talk to me, mostly my son, but I just shrug it off.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Jun. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • i agree with you.. i wouldnt have gone either..
    xo0kcg0ox

    Answer by xo0kcg0ox at 9:37 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • i never celebrated it after i got older because of the things my dad did to me and my siblings. i have not had contact with him for about 3 yrs. i have forgiven him for the things he did but still am not going to celebrate him being a good dad when he was not. now that my so has kids i celebrate with him

    esmith1984

    Answer by esmith1984 at 9:38 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I agree with you. Just because he's your Dad doesn't mean he did a good job at it, so therefore he doesn't deserve to be honored for something he didn't do.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:55 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • as an old saying goes,u can choose ur friends but not ur family, but hey 4 me... u cant choose ur family but u can choose who u ASSOCIATE WITH" just sayin' I dont blame u.... I would never dare go on a family gathering,when I can't stand the people.Not to b bitter or anything.But I dont think HE DESERVE IT AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK W/ YA HUN♄
    inahan

    Answer by inahan at 10:02 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • Fathers Day is a celebration of fatherhood. To be worthy of being celebrated the people one was a father to should not have only horrible memories of their childhood. Good for you for standing up for yourself and letting him know that how he treated you was not okay.

    LadybugTash

    Answer by LadybugTash at 10:14 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

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