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5 Bumps

They are drinving me crazy with this shit

my so has a girl from his ex. she has a boy that she had before they got together. my so feels like the boy is his son since he has been there since the boy was 3months old. well my problem is he drives me crazy and my so will not do anything about it. tonight he threw my s pizza in the trash then denied it so.... nothing no punishment. i didnt do it, my so didnt do it, she is screaming her head off and he just says i didnt do it. we had extra (thank god) so she gets that while she is eating he pushes her drink away from her making her scream again. so who gets in trouble? her. why? she is screaming. like before when her pizza just appeared in the trash she got in to trouble for screaming. when she went to the bathroom he went into her room, i got on to him( he knows he is not allowed in her room) now her remote to the tv is missing. he swears to me he didnt touch it. just last night we found her nintendo ds in his room again he didnt do it even though she was looking for in all day. im going crazy, i dont feel like i should have to deal with him. his mom sends him over because she dont want to pay a babysitter. he is not his child he is his ex stepson. it would not be so bad but there is not 1 moment of peace when he is here. i have seen him walk to her and hit her when i say something he denies he did it even when i saw him do it. i dont know how much more i can take.......

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esmith1984

Asked by esmith1984 at 10:11 PM on Jun. 19, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,751 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Well if his 'dad' won't take care of it, I would step in and start dishing out punishments. If he doesn't like it, then tell him that he should take care of it and if not, you will. OR his ex can just find a new sitter so he doesn't have to come over here and problem solved.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:14 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • Didn't you know about this little boy when you started your relationship??? Your boyfriend sounds like a great guy if he is willing to treat this boy as own even though him and the mom aren't together anymore. If I were you I'd sit down and try to figure something out that works for both of, he sounds like a keeper.

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 10:18 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • You knew about this child at the beginning, so you knew you have to deal with him. It is a great thing that your SO is doing. That being said, YOU punish him. It's your house, your rules. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to come over. As for your daughter, she needs to be taught to NOT scream. Screaming doesn't solve anything. Teach her how to verbalize her feelings instead of screaming.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:22 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • actually i didnt know about him he told me about his daughters, but at the time his ex was not letting him see the boy so he didnt tell me about him. i really dont know what diff it would have made if he did, he is a great guy and yes he is a keeper. i just need some kind of advise on how to deal with this kid that hates me and everyone around him. the only one that he listens to is my so. its like he puts on a front with him he is ok around him, when he goes to work he is soo bad and that is a understatement.

    esmith1984

    Comment by esmith1984 (original poster) at 10:30 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • IF YOU DONT HAVE KIDS WITH HIM GIRL YOU NEED TO LET HIM GO NO MATTER HOW GOOD SEX IS YOU SHOULDNT BE GOING THROUGH THIS SHIT LET HIM GO AND GET ON YOUR FEET YOULL BE BETTER OFF WITH OUT THIS SHIT.
    29QUEEN

    Answer by 29QUEEN at 10:47 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I would start laying down the house rules and make everyone follow them. The same punishment (within reason) for whatever bad behavior happens. Try to let the kid know you're not singling him out. this boy looks to your SO as a father figure, and he's very lucky to still be able to have your SO in his life.
    glam.fairy

    Answer by glam.fairy at 12:02 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • You and your SO need to get on the same page here. There need to be set rules and consequences that are applied the same to all the children. Sit down and agree upon the rules and what the consequences are for breaking the rules. Sometimes it helps to put it in writing. Then just consistently enforce the consequences when the kids break the rules.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 10:40 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • lock on her door first of all. Family counseling where everyone including him can air out their frustration. That's all I have to offer.
    hollydaze1974

    Answer by hollydaze1974 at 11:35 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I also think it's admirable that your SO is still involved in this boys life! He needs a positive role model. That being said, I feel you need to set up boundaries and house rules, even make a chart. If he takes things that don't belong to him he loses a privilege. If he makes his sister scream (my eldest does this!) Then he will lose another privilege. Don't wait for your SO to do it because he obviously isnt! Just set up those rules! And maybe even earn a treat if they get so many "stars" on the chart.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 4:02 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • How old is this boy now?
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 7:51 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

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