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2 Bumps

Feeling Loss

Hi, Im Natalie... My DH and I have been TTC for 18+mos. I FINALLY got what I thought was implantation bleeding, and even got a faint positive on a HPT... A couple days later I got some light bleeding that concerned me, so I tested again... CLEAR NEGATIVE. I don't even know if its possible I miscarried, or what. Long story short, I stupidly allowed myself to start getting excited before I was SURE, and now it almost feels like I've "lost" that baby that may or may not have been there to begin with. Is it stupid to feel grief? I have been really really upset the last couple of days. I don't want to make light of/liken it to the loss of a miscarriage, as I have never had one... but in y mind, thats how it feels. I am getting NO support from DH and I just feel ... LOST. Anyone else know what I mean??? Surely Im not the only one. Right??

Answer Question

Asked by bigmamabone at 11:10 PM on Jun. 19, 2011 in Trying to Conceive

Level 3 (21 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Did you use the same type of test? Its hard for him to understand what you are going through most of the time because they don't connect like we do. I wish you lots of luck and big hugs. Hopefully it wasn't a miscarriage.

    Answer by sugamama3 at 11:13 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • This has not happened to me but I feel for you. And DH should be there for you no matter what. You should try to sit him down and talk to him. You obviously really wanted to be pregnant so the second it was possible you got excited. Of course it is reasonable to be upset right now. Wait a couple more days though and take the test again, just to make sure ya know?

    Answer by kimandeverrett at 11:15 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks, so very early and probably not medically significant, but I grieved for years over it. My DH didn't understand - no-one did. We already had 4 kids and the pregnancy was accidental, but the sense of loss was very real - as is yours. *hugs* There may not be a lot of support for you out there because you don't even know if it was a "real" pregnancy, but it was real to you. It is perfectly natural to grieve. I wish you lots and lots of luck with your TTC - the only way I got over my miscarriage was to have another baby.

    Answer by judimary at 11:28 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I am so sorry. I had a miscarriage and i always wonder what could have been. Take your time and feel better. My son and daughter-in-law just had there little girl. They tried for years. They went through fertility drugs, shots and all. They had given up, when she was told she had a cys,t and went in for a sonogram. The cyst was Annabelle. Good luck, and you have every right to your feelings. Men are so different in how they deal. Sometime I think my husband is from another planet.

    Answer by irememberwhen59 at 11:32 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • Thanks. I am so sorry for your loss. But I am happy that you were able to have another baby. Ya know, I am blessed. I have 2 beautiful kids, and I know in my heart that God "may not come when you want Him but He's always right on time." I know that when its time, I'll have a baby. But I WANT IT But thank you for being reassuring. Sometimes I think Im the only one in the world who feels the way I do, and that Im stupid... IDK.

    Comment by bigmamabone (original poster) at 11:36 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • You are not stupid. It's perfectly normal to grieve over the loss of something, whether it was there or not. And I know how difficult secondary infertility is....DH and I have been trying for over 2 years now.

    Answer by MedicMommy at 7:16 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

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