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2 Bumps

Should I or shouldn't I?

I left my boyfriend today because he was mentally abusive. We have a shared cell phone plane under my name only. He is really abusive, and is still, after I broke up with him, calling me names, insulting me, and harassing me. He is using the phone on my phone plan to do this.

My question is this: I'm tempted to turn his phone off so he can't do this anymore. But, he has no way to get another phone right away, and he does occasionally need it for his job.

On the one hand, I feel I'm well within my rights to turn it off since it's on my plan, I'm paying for it, and he's harassing me and has been mentally abusive.

But on the other hand, I don't want to put his job at risk, and I feel it would be rather mean to just turn it off on him, knowing he can't get another one right away.

What should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by wendythewriter at 12:54 AM on Jun. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 33 (61,976 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Most def turn it off if YOUR payin for it.. i know all about the mental abuse crap and if you continue to have this phone on he's gonna continue to do this to you.. if you really left him then let it go and move on with your life girl.. sounds like your hangin on a little tid bit if your still worryin about his concerns.. hope this helps!

    Answer by carrientravisj1 at 12:58 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • It's not that I'm hanging on. I just...I don't know. I try to be a nice person, and I guess I still feel like I should be nice, even though he was horrible to me. I know you're right and I should just turn it off.

    Comment by wendythewriter (original poster) at 1:06 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Don't be nice...hes abusive, screw that sucka. If hes going to treat you like that, don't be nice at all. He can get his ass a new phone

    Answer by monstersmommy20 at 1:21 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Shut his phone off! If he is abusing you (mentally or otherwise), and you broke up with are letting him use the phone as a catalyst. Abusers get a thrill from bringing others down, don't give him what he wants. You are not being a mean person, you are standing up for yourself. It is his responsibility to provide for himself...not yours....he is an ex abusive boyfriend, not your child, not your family. He doesn't deserve your charity. The only way a person like that can change is for people to stop enabling his behavior. Good luck.

    Answer by nacoledawn at 1:22 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Turn it off ASAP!

    Answer by momavanessa at 1:42 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I would give him ONE fair warning. Next time I get a nasty text from you I'm shutting off the phone. If you stop then I won't. Period. Do not discuss it with him beyond that. He will do it again, and then you shut it off. At least you gave him the opportunity!

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 1:53 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • turn it off he can just get a pay as you go phone or go to DSHS and they can set him up with a home phone but pretty much not your business you need to cut your ties he's toxic

    Answer by krissii at 3:18 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Turn it off NOW! There are trac phones he can purchase, he'll find a way.

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 7:44 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • If it were me, I'd turn it off.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 8:23 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I would tell him that I am turning it off and then turn it off.

    Answer by LiLJeni at 7:47 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

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