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2 Bumps

Would a drastic (bad) change in your spouse's appearance change your feelings or relationship? Do you think your spouse feels the same way?

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nacoledawn

Asked by nacoledawn at 1:00 AM on Jun. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 6 (118 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • yes and no.

    If it was something he had no control over... I would deal with it.

    However, if it was something he chose (tattoos, piercings, shaving his head, etc) then I would have a HUGE issue with it. We have been married almost 20 yrs.... to all of the sudden make a drastic appearance to your looks would mean that there is some other issue going on. People dont just wake up and radically change their looks on a whim. He does not have a job that would allow a radical look... he would loose clients, loose work, loose the respect of his partners and co-workers. He would not only have made a huge mental change but put our livelihood in jeapardy too.

    I would also have a HUGE issue with him gaining weight. I do not want a heavy husband. I never dated men who were not athletic. unless it was a medical issue I would have a HUGE issue with him allowing his health to go to the way side.

    I know that my husband would agree
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I would still love my hubby. It would only be hard for me to look at him if he had some sort of transformation into an insect or something, like in the fly.
    SeasideNative

    Answer by SeasideNative at 1:07 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I dont think it would change our love for each other.
    Sarah961

    Answer by Sarah961 at 1:11 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • No, I'm not that shallow. There is more to our relationship than looks.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 1:12 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • No matter what my husband is still my husband. A change in appearance wouldn't change anything. Unless he shaved his beard...then I'd be mad lol.
    monstersmommy20

    Answer by monstersmommy20 at 1:12 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • My boyfriend and I were talking about this issue. He said he would have an issue if I gained like 50 pounds. My view: I would appreciate a partner who stayed fit, but if they gained a lot of weight I would still love them. I would encourge them to be healthy though. His view: he thinks that a weight issue would affect attraction...thereby affecting emotional connection. While I enjoy being healthy, it makes me wonder what he would think about my appearance if I were pregnant.
    nacoledawn

    Comment by nacoledawn (original poster) at 1:13 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I agree with your husband, or share his view. Pregnancy is different than just letting yourself go. Weight gain is not attractive. My dh and I have both gained weight, and while we still love each other, neither of us are AS attracted as we used to be. We are trying to get healthier but it's not easy!
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 1:26 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • It depends. Weight gain, new hair do, no. Of course it might affect my physical attraction but that's not what my love is based on so I don't think it would be a huge cause for concern in our relationship. Now if he went out and pierced his scrotum or something that could physically change our relationship, then maybe.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • No, I love my husband for who he is, what he looks like is just an extra perk. If something happened that changed what he looked like I wouldn't leave him, it wouldn't be something that was of his control. I would look at him just the same. And I would hope that he would do the same.

    There's a song that reminds me of something like this. The lyric goes; "And if I suddenly went blind, would you still look in my eyes?"
    mrsziemann

    Answer by mrsziemann at 2:33 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • no,our love would not change. We have been together 18 years and both of us have changed our hair,style of clothes,weight,... No tats though but that is just a personal choice
    RobinChristine

    Answer by RobinChristine at 3:56 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

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