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Accountable for everyones actions?!?!

How come I have to be held accountable for everyone elses actions?!?! My friend threatens boyfriends sisters 3 yrs ago, because of that hubby says i cant bring kids around her. hubby and his best friend get kicked out of a bar, because of that, hubby says i cant go to that bar... is it just me or is this unfair?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:04 AM on Jun. 20, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • lol - reading my answer, it could be a little confusing - to clarify what I was saying -

    I think it's fair that your dh does not want the friend around his kids (unless she's a totally different person now, things are different, and he has evidence of this, but again, he should have a say in who is around his kids).

    I think it is unfair that because of his bad behavior he thinks your actions should be limited. Just like your friend has to be accountable for her actions (not allowed around the kids), he needs to be held accountable for his own actions.

    You shouldn't be accountable for either of their actions, but that doesn't mean that their actions aren't going to affect you and what you can do. In these cases - you can be around your friend, but because of her actions, she can't be around your kids, or you can go to the bar, but your dh can't go with you, because of what he did.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:31 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I think these are two different things, and have 2 different answers, and I don't think it's really being held accountable for other people's actions, exactly...

    As far as the friend - I don't think you are being held accountable for her actions - I think that she is being held accountable for her actions - she made threats against someone in his family, he doesn't want his kids around that person. I can't say I disagree with that - they are his children, too, and he should have a say in who they are around. Just like he shouldn't be taking the kids around people that you have a reason to distrust.

    As far as the bar goes -it sounds like dh and his friend were being held accountable for their actions - that's on them, not you. (I'm not sure I would want to go to a bar that my dh wasn't allowed to go to, but then again, I would be pretty mad at my dh if he was acting so badly that he got kicked out of someplace!)


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:27 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I wouldn't want someone that made threats against family around my kids either. Just sayin'. And he doesn't want you to go to that bar because he doesn't want to support them anymore because of what they did. Not blaming it on you, just withdrawing support.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 8:26 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Maybe we should think about the situations we put ourselves in

    Answer by rinamomof2 at 11:17 AM on Jun. 20, 2011