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4 Bumps

When you went into labor, did you let people (family/friends) hang out in the delivery room until it was time to actually start pushing??

I am really confused about this. I don't want to hurt anyones feelings, but I do not want anyone except my mother and boyfriend in the room... the entire time. When his sister had her baby, people came and made camp in her room. It felt really awkward, and I know I would be uncomfortable with it as I tend to get overwhelmed by people, especially his family. BUT, he just explained to me, that he expected that people could come into the room and stay up until the time to have her. He told me he isnt upset, but I can tell that he is. I know Im going to hurt his moms feelings. Eh. I dont really know what to do. I thought it was normal for people to either wait at home until the baby is born, or sit in the waiting room. What are your thoughts and how did you do this??

Answer Question

Asked by Tarrar at 2:22 AM on Jun. 20, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 22 (13,733 Credits)
Answers (15)

  • NO one in the room at any point that will distract or create self-consciousness.

    Sounds like he doesn't understand what it takes to give birth...
    You can explain it like, "do you want my mom to watch YOU have an orgasm, or a bowel movement?"

    Answer by doulala at 2:35 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • When a person's sphincter is in the process of opening, it may suddenly close down if that person becomes upset, frightened, humiliated, or self conscious. Why? High levels of adrenaline in the bloodstream do not favor (sometimes, they actually prevent) the opening of sphincters. This inhibition factors is one important reason why women in traditional societies may have mostly chosen women, except in extraordinary circumstances, to attend them in labor and birth. ( Have you double checked your birth plan? Have you officially chosen who you want to attend your birth?)

    Answer by doulala at 2:36 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • When I had my oldest daughter I was 18 and people came and went all day long until it was time for me to actually push, and I had my husband, my mom, and my aunt in the room and it was very stressful, so when I had my youngest I made the choice that people could come by and see how I was doing but they had to check with the nurse first to see if I would allow them in, and when it came time to push it was just me and my husband which made things a lot more relaxed and made the whole process better. Honestly its YOUR choice on what you are comfortable with. If you want just your mom and your boyfriend then you need to make that clear and him and his family need to understand thats what you want. Its not about them its about you and what your going through. I hope this helps.

    Answer by MTButterfly04 at 2:38 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I don't mind people being in there.

    Answer by VintageWife at 2:47 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I had my mom, grandma and dh with my first up until i pushed. no inlaws. period. not comfy with it. i also had an epidural. with my second there was no TIME for an epidural, but when i was laboring at home i didnt want ANYONE near me period. barely dh and dd1. so i think if i had gone natural the first time, i wouldnt have wanted anyone in there. i hate it when people ask me oh r u ok and fawn over me. im like, im in labor. what do you think?!?!?!

    im not a people person lol.

    Answer by shortycmlb at 4:06 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I was only allowed to have 2 ppl in my room during the process. I only wanted my mom and hubby there anyways! Too many ppl going in and out is way too stressful! (the nurses kept coming in and out and left he door open; my husband got so pissed he slammed it shut)! I think the whole birthing process is a private event; I didn't feel comfortable with everyone coming in and out of my room.

    Answer by Mom_Of_3_Angelz at 5:33 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Do what makes you feel comfortable. It's your day. They are all adults and should respect your wishes.

    Answer by FroggyFeet at 8:19 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I banned everyone but DH and my BFF from even coming to the hospital at all until after the baby was born and I'd had some quiet bonding time. I didnt' need the pressure of trying to stay brave and entertain everyone and was blunt about it. The only one offended was my MIL and she got over it eventually.....

    Answer by Kimedbs at 8:21 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • If you don't want to seem like the bad guy you could always ask the nurse to ask everyone else to leave ... that way they can be irritated with her, not you! Personally, I had my husband, mom, sister, dad and mother in law hanging around in the room waiting ... BUT, my mother in law and dad were very respectful and always left the room whenever the doctor came to check me, etc. I agree it should be about YOU, and what makes YOU comfortable. I ended up having a c-section, but had I given birth vaginally, I would have had my husband and mom in there with me for that.

    Answer by happymama2D at 8:22 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • LOL I didnt care if everyone was in there I think it kept my mind off the pain both times... BUT when it came time to push I only had my mom Aunt and husband in there!!

    Answer by mykids060911 at 8:26 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

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