I'm going through an open adoption agency and just recently chose the parents to adopt my baby. I wasn't sure how open I wanted it to be, but after meeting with and talking to them I've found they're amazing people. They are adament about letting the child know from the start that they're his or her parents, but that I'm out there and I love him or her. Before meeting them, though, I didn't want the child to know about me at all. However, now I think I've changed my mind. I just wonder if I'm being too hopeful that my situation will be different from the stories I've heard where things don't work out as planned. Advice?
Answer by frogdawg at 11:51 PM on Dec. 13, 2008
You love your child. I would put together a love box filled with letters you write to your child while your pregnant, any pics of you and your family, any little keep sakes you might want to give him/her. Give it to the adoptive parents and let them keep it and give to your child when he/she is old enough to understand and appreciate what you have done. Therefore, if for some reason contact is cut off you can only hope that through this box your child will know who you are and that you loved him/her without any doubt.
Answer by Southerncharmes at 8:31 PM on Dec. 12, 2008
Answer by randi1978 at 8:32 PM on Dec. 12, 2008
Answer by BriasMommy_827 at 8:37 PM on Dec. 12, 2008
Answer by Kidsmamabear at 11:01 PM on Dec. 12, 2008
Answer by RentaMom at 11:24 AM on Dec. 13, 2008
Make sure you sit down and talk about exactly what you all think open adoption is. Don't settle for "as much contact as you like, it's in your court", be specific. Ask for more contact than you think you want. Write up an agreement, it wont be legally binding. If they are religious ask them to swear they will follow it. Make sure you get all their contact information: names, address, all phone numbers, email addresses etc. If they wont trust you with that then don't trust them with your baby.
But honestly, I've heard of aparents treat bmom like family only to cut her off when the baby becomes a toddler. You have absolutely NO rights once you've signed the papers. An estimated 80% of adoptions close.
Answer by onethentwins at 12:58 PM on Dec. 13, 2008
Answer by summerleigh at 12:59 PM on Dec. 13, 2008
Answer by feesharose at 1:09 PM on Dec. 13, 2008
Next question overall
(Just for Fun)
Does anyone know a woman named Kari (pronounced Car-ee) that is near 40?