Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Struggling

So my SD has been living with my DH and I for a little over a year, and sadly it hasn't gotten any easier. She is a very smart kid, yet also extremely difficult and she is only 6. I have also been going through my own issues of extreme deppression and trying to still be a good wife and mother. I also have a SS who does not live with us, but my DH wants him with us but I don't think I can handle another child right now. I can't even begin to articulate the struggle going on inside me right now. I understand that my DH wants his son, but I also know I literally can't handle it. I work each night, possibly get a couple hours of sleep in the morning get woken up continually by my DH or SD. I almost never get more than 2 hours of consecutive sleep in a day. My DH isn't working (he gets his GI benefits for school), I am financially supporting the family, in charge of the; finances, planning any type of family stuff, groceries, laundrey(DH has been doing more of that), cooking, etc. ...To say the least I am tired and the idea of having another child in our little condo would completely break me.
Am I being selfish? Will it ever get better?

Answer Question
 
Destiny1030

Asked by Destiny1030 at 5:45 AM on Jun. 20, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • You knew he had children when you met him and married him... You have to take the good with the bad. If it were your children away from you and they wanted to come to you would you allow it or deny them because your hubby can't handle it. I would see a Dr for the depression as there are some great drugs out there that help and I was a NO WAY NOT TAKING HAPPY PILLS gal until I freaked out on my hubby for almost 6 months and got really depressed. Went to the Dr he put me on 100 MG of Zoloft it took about a week and everyone I mean EVERYONE noticed a positive change in my behavior and mood and I felt better about everything. Ask your hubby to do more since he's not working. Stepchildren can be a messy situation but just be open and honest with him and tell him your fears and seriously see a Dr to see why your so depressed! HUGS and good luck
    dan4heather

    Answer by dan4heather at 5:51 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I agree with dan4heather. The situation won't get better unless you make it get better. Start with yourself; taking care of yourself should be the most important thing. Sit down with your husband and share your fears and feelings, try to work out a plan for you to get more sleep uninterrupted! See a doctor or a psychologist for your depression. Then when you reach a comfortable position, discuss his son and his coming to live with you. Set down rules together; discuss and agree on methods of discipline, especially with your 6 yr.old. Iron out the difficulties with her first. Then when you're both ready, physically and mentally, welcome the addition of another child to your family together and continue to be open and honest with each other. Communication is key to success in any relationship.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 7:12 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • You should tell your dh that he would have to take on some more of the responsibilities and to allow you to sleep and you'll support him! I don't think it's another child you are against, but more responsibility on top of too much! GL
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 3:03 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN