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Help me with sex

my husband chris and i used to be very sexually active before i got pregnant with my now 3 year old son and our now 9month old son but suddenly we just sort of stopped be intimate with each other just mainly because i am not in the mood anymore or he just picks the bad times to want to do it. example( when he gets home from work and kids are napping while i am trying to clean and may i add i babysit and there is a 7year old that comes into the house for anything and thats the last thing i want is for the 7 year old kid to come in while we are having sex.
He has said why don't u want to have sex any more, i said well for several reasons. I had two kids and i am not as sexy as i once was. number 2 u threw a pen at me once when you were mad and i am now sometimes afraid of what u will do if u get mad, and 3 u always want to do it when kids are running around or i am busy and just not in the mood. 4 we always do it in the same spot and u always want to go straight to the sex while i want it romantic and try new things.
He then proceeds and says u know not having sex in any relationship results are bad like cheating not saying i would do that but that happens.
Need i remind u i take care of our 2 boys, watch our neighbors 2 boys, cook,clean, go grocery shopping, i am just exhausted and don't have energy to have sex, and i did have one pregnancy scare about month ago. My period normally comes on a Tuesday or weds and it didn't come either days, I was scared and got a test but it was negative. Thursday night my period finally came so now i am scared that i might get pregnant again.
we used to have sex like every other day, now we are lucky if we have sex twice a week. We have gone almost a month with out it.
I just need help.....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Jun. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Well, there are lots of ways to help prevent a pregnancy if your scared of getting pregnant again.  I am going to get hell for this but I have to say that the pen thing made me laugh.  Seriously.  Yes it was wrong of him to throw a pen at you but now being "scared" of what he might do seems a bit dramatic to me.  If he does or says other things like that, I'd end the relationship period.  Maybe you could designate a specific time to do the do?  Being exhausted, that's a given, but don't let your relationship suffer because of it babe.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 10:39 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Honey, it's been 3 years since my DH and I have had sex. He's cheated for 10 years, hence the not having sex with him, I'm not catching anything. He was cheating from the get go. If they are doing it, it isn't because you aren't sleeping with them. And if they are looking at you for just their little blow up doll, then that is all you are to them. If they can't spend a few minutes being intimate with you, then it's just their outlet. And I'm not talking about foreplay, because foreplay is all day everyday, they way they talk to you, they way they respond to you, it isn't sexual, intimacy goes over everything and if it isn't there, it's just sex, which is usually pretty unsatisfying for the woman.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 10:41 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Seems like your problem is your insensitive husband. Twice a week is NOT a drought lol
    If you hve told him all of those things then the ball is in his court and he should be making an effort.
    Nicoles2LilRams

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 10:42 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • It sounds to me like he is making an effort, but you keep turning him down.
    When the kids are sleeping is a perfect time. Your marital relations are more important than a clean house. If you are worrying about the 7 year old, lock your bedroom door.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 10:51 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Sex is like oxygen- it's not important until you're not getting any.

    Set a Date night! The two of you need to schedule a time to be intimate. No getting out of it. Come hell or high water, you stick to the plan. You don't have to go out or get a sitter, just a specific time set aside for the two of you. Try getting a bedroom suggestions game to change things up. He picks an activity one week, you pick the next week. Date night can be massages, a serious make- out session (on the couch, or head to the garage and hop in the backseat!), baking cookies or making ice cream sundaes together (and think of the naughty places you could lick chocolate off each other!), watching a movie (G rated or otherwise!), sharing fantasies, experimenting with toys,... anything that the two of you can do together for an hour or two.
    Don't make excuses, make it work!
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 6:48 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

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