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Leaving your kids with family?

Does anyone know someone or have you left your kids with family so you could go to school ,work and make a better life for you and your kids? I have the opportunity to leave my kids with my family while I go to school for a year. I would call them everyday and visit them on holidays. I just don't know. Logically it makes sense. I can't go to school,work and be a mom. I would have to put 3 kids in day care and waiting until they are all in school is not possible it would be another 4 years. Thinking like a mom The thought is killing me. kids change so much in a year,but is it fair to them that I can't support them on my own and I can't get them things they need and want? I wish all the time I would have waited to have them,but they are here ,I love them and now I need to do what's best for them in the long run. I'm trying to focus on that,the benefits of the long run. If they went in a year when they came back I would be done with school working as an LPN and making decent money. I know I don;t remember being their ages so I'm trying to look at the big picture. I know I will have to stay busy that whole year and any alone time I know I will miss them terribly. They know the family I would be sending them with and they love them. This is just a really hard choice and I know some of you will sit on your high horses and say I'm a bad mom for even thinking it,but I know I need to do what is best for them in the long run. I'm not sending them so I can go party it up or anything. I would be sending them so I could be the mom i am supposed to be so I can provide for my children the way i should be able to.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Jun. 20, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • First off you are not a bad mother, truthfully i live very close to my parents and for four months my dd saw them more then she saw me. we had to live at the house practically because i had to lab and i had clinicals ect for school. it was a rough four months. ok with that said. i totally understand about making a better life for them. that is why i quit my job orginally and went back to schol. there are alot of scrarifices to be made and you will win in the long run. ok how far is the school? i was thinking of doing my clinicals for my final semester in a different state and haver my dd stay for 4months while i can do my clinicals in the state i want to move back. but i just thought about it. is there a school closer to where you live? would you be able to visit on weekends or holidays? i would really sit down and do the pros and cons. how old are the children? can you do skype? there is a way to make it work. (cont)
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 10:51 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • saw if you really have thought about it and its just a year and it wont be longer and you can visit as much as you can and call daily and skype ect then maybe you can do it. noone can answer that question but you. i work and go to school so i totally understand. i am single mom with one so i have no idea how three would be but its tough. the daycare alone is rough. so just go to a quiet place and really think about it and i would never judge a mother for trying improve her life for her children. good luck and i wish you all the best.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 10:53 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Hmmm, I don't understand why you can't do all of it. I know that I am not the only person as a single mom that went to school, worked and took care of my kids without help of family. It sounds like you want to take the easy way out and have your kids taken care of while you do what you think you need to do. If you are all right with abandoning your children for the year, go for it. Don't expect it to be easy. Your kids are going to have issues and act out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • i think you should do what's best for you and what will help you to better provide from your children. it may be hard on all of you but they will understand the hard work you did for them, maybe not right away but sometime in life. and if i was you, i would just make sure i made every effort to talk to them any chance i got or to go see them any chance i got.
    abannist

    Answer by abannist at 10:54 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Is the children's father in the picture? What does he have to say?
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 10:54 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • for me it would depend on how old the kids are? Who exactly are you leaving them with? Where is the father? I know this is alot more questions, but to truly answer I need more info.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:01 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I know a woman who went a step further to provide a future for her child. I girl I went to college with, signed over the rights of her son to her mother for two years so that she could join the Air Force. This was not proof that she didn't love her boy, but wanted him to have the best future with her that he could. After her tour in the Air Force, the rest of her college was paid for and her mother had no issues signing rights to her son back over to her. She now makes a great living as a technical engineer and she and her son have a tight bond as well as no worries. Hope that helps.
    hollydaze1974

    Answer by hollydaze1974 at 11:02 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • military families do it all the time and if your family is on board with it and it will give you and your children a better life in a year then go for it....life is to short to worry about what others think you need to do whats best for your family....good luck
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 11:07 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • yeah, I don' treally get why you can't do both, go to school and have family watch the kids while you are there.. but come home from school and be mom again.. it is because family is out of state or something? If that's the case I would look into day care at the school, most colleges have day care and some include it into the tuition which can be covered with financial aid most of the time... so if that were my choices, that's what I'd do. But everyone has to make their own decisions.. I know personally, i couldn't leave my kids behind to stay with family.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:09 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • The father is sort of in the picture,but he is an alcoholic so there would be no way i would let him take the kids. The school I'm going to is mon-fri. 8-2:30 so the kids would have to be in daycare and then I would have to find a baby sitter so I could work at night. Financially that is not possible and I would much rather my family be raising them for theat year then daycare and babysitters. They would be going to a different state and yes i would skype with the oldest two. My youngest is only 1 and the one I would have the hardest time being away from. I know so many people say all kids need are love,but how is that true? Love doesn't buy the thngs kids need.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:16 AM on Jun. 20, 2011

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