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Thoughts from divorced moms.....

I had a conversation with my 16 yr old... she told me that her friends mom was sleeping around. My daughter was disgusted and was telling me in a "can you believe it" sort of way.  Her friends mom is recently divorced... the child is mortified that this is common knowledge.

Obviously kids know what is going on.

 

I have seen on here recently divorced moms getting advice to go date.  So I would like to know... are there things/rules you would suggest for a dating divorced mom?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Jun. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I feel bad for her kids if she is getting around so much people are talking.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 12:12 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I personally think that single moms of any kind should remember that they are moms first and single second. Sleeping around is never acceptible when it can have negative effects on your children. Too bad this mom doesn't put her kids first. )c:
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 12:15 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • If she is sleeping around with many people..you could only imagine how embarrassing it is for the child! I don't think a divorced mother...or father...should never date again just so the kids will not be embarrassed, but I think they should find someone and settle if they are the right person. & only introduce to the child if they believe they are the right person.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 12:18 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • You may find these abit old fashion......but its my advice to a newly divorced mom.

    Respect yourself, your children and your home. Give yourself time to heal and enjoy "yourself". Learn to live alone and learn that you dont need a man/women to make you a complete person.

    Remember thta your not 16 anymore with only you to worry about.
    Everything that you do effects your household and your children.

    Be smart about dating. Dont be ashamed to do background checks etc, meet them in public places, drive yourself. Never bring strangers into your home that your children live in.

    I personally did not introduce my oldest daughter to anyone I was dating. I am very protective of who I let into my personal life.

    Remember that YOU and your CHILDREN are the most important thing in your life right now.

    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 12:18 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I got divorced in 1996. We had gotten married in 1989 and separated in 1995. My son was born in 1992. My ex had been dating while we were married. When we divorced it was not pleasant but I never talked bad about my ex nor his girlfriend in front of my son. I also NEVER brought any men around my son. Fast Forward to 1998... I was raped and got pregnant. I explained to my son about a sibling and he couldn't understand because mommy never had a boyfriend. Well, I continued to keep my personal life separate from my boys until I met my now husband. We did not move in with my husband until we were married. I never spent the night over there and when we went out it was with the kids unless the boys were with a sitter and I never stayed out any wierd hours. I put my kids first. It was hard enough for my son to have his parents break up and I didn't want to add to that. My ex husband married his girlfriend. That lasted three years.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 12:18 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • i am recently divorced an wanting to date, but to me it is important that my kids are effected as little as possible. this to me means, to me, not introducing the guy to my kids unless its serious, and definelty not sleeping around. i know my kids are really too young to remember wht i do now, but everything that they see or hear me do or say will affect the way their beliefs are formed. honestly i havent really dated because there is no good time for me where the kids would be set with someone to watch them, and of course it is hard to find a suitable person worth dating. but parents should know what they do affects there kids at any age. and if you want your kids to have respect for themselves then the parent has to have respect for him/herself first.
    2breath2live

    Answer by 2breath2live at 12:20 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • cont. Since then my son has seen many women trapse in and out of my ex's bedroom and life. He has asked me what is wrong with his dad, why can't he just settle down?? Well, he has been married since 2005 but who knows what my son has seen?? He is 18 and has a moral example of what a marriage is like. No cheating, no abuse, etc.... he respects women and doesn't just hop into bed with just anyone. I am proud of the job that I am doing raising my kids.

    My advice, be discreet and even if you don't think the kids know what is going on, they do... no matter what the age....
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 12:21 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • hope that this divorced mom will be fine so soon !!! we cant juge her cause we cant know what she's felling now !!! probably depressed porbably biting life sooo hard lolll but what i hope is a little pray for that mom ... she still have kids to rais ...and wish her a good luck ..
    caramelH

    Answer by caramelH at 12:22 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

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