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I think I am done with this marriage,, any and all advice are welcome. adult content

I will try to be brief, but my husband has turned into a very selfish person. I had a fantastic job when we met and put him through school, he has done pretty well now, and when our son was born, I really cut back. He never wants to have sex, he yells at me all of the time, and our son even said to him, you treat my mommy awful.
Much of it is too long to go into, but we had several miscarriages, and a daughter who died at birth, finally after 15 years we got our son. It almost seems like he is jealous of him, and although does things with him is highly critical. I just feel so alone, and with not barely any money coming in for myself,, I don't know what to do...I asked if we could go to counseling, the answer, yes if you got off your fat ass and went first yourself,, idk mommas???


Asked by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Jun. 20, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • When a man changes this much, there is a reason for it. Problems in marriage are never 100% to 0% so far as blame is concerned. My guess is that all the hurts you've experienced have changed you a bit, too. Having to wait 15 years for a child has to be hard, and I would imagine that finally getting him has changed your priorities just a bit. I wonder if your husband feels neglected or like he has fallen to near the bottom of your list of priorities. If I were where you are today, I would ask him straight out if he feels any of those things. If you decide to ask, be sure you are prepared to hear his answers. Love is more about what we give than it is about what we get. So ask yourself if you are giving him what he needs or if you are waiting for him to meet your needs first. Men feel things at a very deep level. The difference is they hardly ever give expression to those feelings. They withdraw and become angry.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:44 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • If your son notices it then it may just be time for a seperation.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 1:40 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I agree, when your child sees this and says it like that, there's definitely something wrong, and it doesn't sound like he wants to put forth the effort to save this marriage. I am so sorry you're going through this, but I think you are smart to walk away now. You deserve better than this.

    Answer by musicpisces at 1:43 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • His abusive actions and language would have to be addressed for me to stay, personally. You have to decide if you still love him, if you want to work it out or if you are just finished period. Couples often have trouble adjusting to the huge sacrifices and changes the having a child bring in to your lives.. If your son has verbalized how 'awful' his treatment is towards you it is definately time for some changes. Your child deserves to live in a home where he feels safety, security and love. It doesn't much sound like he is right now.


    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:48 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I have three girls and going though a divorce right now. Married 10 years and grew apart. I am no money since a housewife but will have some help with that from him and I will find a job after 11 years. Sometimes kids know more than we do. My girls sometimes will be around their dad and others not so much. If ever want to talk write and I will write back. If you want to make it work try couseling but if not then maybe move to the next step. Hang in there.

    Answer by momindiana at 1:49 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • While the Ann Landers advice on counseling was always "go yourself if he won't go with you," I don't think you're wrong at all. You do deserve better.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:45 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Leave him sweetie, that's not good for your little boy to see how his father treats his mother not a good example at all & your husband sounds like he isnt going to change, so for your little boys sake leave your husband & also for yourself you deserve a man who will treat you with respect & truly love you. GL & sorry for what your going through ((HUGS))


    Answer by VanillaBlondie8 at 1:47 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I understand n\how you feel.Pls get this material it may be of help to you my dear sister.It is called Men Made Easy

    Answer by Jeelly at 1:57 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • He may be suffering from depression ~

    Answer by tasches at 2:04 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • i would leave before your son turns into the same type of man

    Answer by takes_a_village at 4:01 PM on Jun. 20, 2011