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What is a Mom to do?

What does a mom do when a teen says no and walks away, and you can't make me when I ask her to do something? What kind of an answer do I give and what kind of consequence do I give?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Jun. 20, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • If you no idea where to start the chances are good that she hasn't been well disciplined in a very long time. You speak to her in a calm voice and let her know times are changing. Explain in detail what is going to happen for defying you. All chances are up. Then you follow through. You take away all electronics. Phones, ipods, DS, video games, TV, car keys included and the door to her room. If she continues her room gets stripped to a mattress on the floor and a box for her clothes. She earns them back little by little by following the rules.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:58 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • What are you asking her to do? How old is she? I guess it depends on what it is, and why she's being that way...

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 2:13 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Turn it back around on her next times she asks for something.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 2:21 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • In a case like this I'd tell my son that's fine, you're right I can't make you but I can stop buying you things you want, I can stop letting you go out with your friends, I can stop letting you use my tv, my phone, my computer, my car etc.
    Then I would tell him this is a family and families work together and that includes chores and doing what you're asked. Then I'd lay out the expectations again.
    I've never had this problem before so I'm not quite sure how you stop it once it starts, my boys have always been helpful and do what I ask. They may sometimes give me a little grief, but they always do it sometimes I just wait until their show is over, or their game or whatever they might doing and ask them to please help...and they always do. My youngest helped me yesterday for 3 hours weed my garden just because I asked (well and I told him we'd have steak for dinner if I had a little help).

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:35 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • then she can sleep on a mattress on the floor with no door, you can cxl her phone service, you can take away her car, you can give her two out fits to wear.

    If this attitude is on going (not an isolated incident) and she wants to be a bitch... then you give her the basic necessities in life and she can go get a job and earn the privileges.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I think when it gets to this point disrespect has been going rampart for a while, the trick is not to let it get there........

    Answer by older at 4:01 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Answer back, "Wanna bet? Watch..." then take EVERYTHING away. All she gets is a bed and her clothes. She then has to earn everything back by being respectful. She would get no rides, no clean clothes, I would do nothing for her.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:43 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Yes, everyone that is what should happen, she gets nothing from me then. I think maybe the taking everything from her room etc. may help. I tell her "your phone, Ipod, electronis,etc are gone till you do it but she just says "I don't care". It just becomes a standoff and the job doesn't get done even tho her stuff is taken away. Guess she doesn't care, huh?? I still have her electronics and the job is still not done. I think I should take more away?!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:08 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Absolutely. Also no rides, No dates, No hanging out with friends. Do not give in. She's betting you'll give in and she wins. She cares, she just doesn't want you to know she cares.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 5:37 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I agree, she cares but she isn't going to tell you that. It's time to start limiting freedoms, as grneyedgrandma said - no friends, no rides...etc. I would also explain to her that you earn trust and responsibility by doing what your asked, and if simple chores can't be done then you can't be trusted to be with friends etc. If it doesn't get done (as frustrating as it is) you stay strong and the next time she asks for something you say no.
    Good luck.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:13 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

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