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Could you, would you, take back someone who cheated on you? Have you cheated and the one you cheated on taken you back?

This is kind of a S/O of the "How to get the ex back from rebound girlfriend" question.

 
pookiekins34

Asked by pookiekins34 at 2:09 PM on Jun. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 27 (30,646 Credits)
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Answers (12)
  • I always said I would never be able to take my husband back if he cheated. Then it happened. He had an affair. I was heartbroken. Beyond heartbroken. The thing is, he's my very best friend and I love him. I couldn't picture living the rest of my life without him. I'dnever wake up to him beside me. That broke my heart just as much as the affair did. The death of my marriage, of our companionship twisted me.

    We talked and talked. We both cried and he apologized a thousand times. He has done everything he can to put my mind at ease and keep my mind at ease. In my heart, I know he is sorry for when he did and that is good enough for me. I can forgive. I did forgive. He hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me but my love for us was stronger than the pain I felt. We tried again.

    That was three years ago. We are very happy now! I said for better or for worse, good times and in bad. I meant every word.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I divorced the one who cheated on me. There is no reason I would ever be OK with it and want them back. Nor would I want someone to take me back if I did that to them.
    beckie66

    Answer by beckie66 at 2:11 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I have not cheated and have not been cheated on.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 2:10 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I'd say if it was a one time thing and if they understood why the cheating occurred ex.(neglected, lonely, etc.)but if its happens all the time no. You have to learn to walk away if it isnt working. That took me five years to figure that out with my daughter's dad. Once the trust is broken you have to try twice as hard to fix and counsiling may work if both of the parties really want to fix the relationship.
    shar-hulk

    Answer by shar-hulk at 2:13 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • No, I could never forgive or forget the cheating person. So no I would never take him back, And no I've never cheated on anyone my self either. I have respect for relationships.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 2:16 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Yes, I've taken back two boyfriends who cheated on me, mind you I'm not a forgiving person about cheating but both had come to me crying... as in, literal tears streaming down their faces. They didn't have to tell me, could have kept it to themselves and I would have never been the wiser. In each incident there had been a fight and we were technically broken up I suppose, but still.. You dont feel like youre broken up if its just been a day or two. Anyway I was able to respect them for their integrity and honesty because I felt close enough to each of them that I knew they would always tell me the truth. I had another boyfriend that cheated on me and denied it. There was no forgiveness on my part because he didnt respect me enough to tell the truth. It felt different., no tears, no confession or apology, just lies on top of lies. You have to decide what you can live with and what you cant. Were all human & we all make mistakes
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I take my marriage vows "forsaking all others" seriously I have not cheated and I would not cheat on my husband. If my husband ever cheated on me - it would be over. There is no way I could ever forgive or forget, and as for trust..... once the trust is gone I don't know if I could ever believe him again. So there is no way in hell I would ever take back a cheater.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 2:55 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • was married years back
    he was not so married
    he cheated, i hurt, took the long road to forgive to have him cheat again

    will not react the same ever again

    once a cheater
    always a cheater

    in my new book
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 3:22 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • So fiatpax does that line of thinking also work for drug addicts and alcoholics? Are you saying people can not change?
    pookiekins34

    Comment by pookiekins34 (original poster) at 3:25 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • No. I would not take someone back who cheated on me. No. I have never, ever cheated. I have never dated or even hung around with anyone with a drinking or drug problem,, so I wouldn't ever encounter that problem of having someone cheat on me and blame it on something else(in other words, "I wasn't myself...it was an accident and I didn't mean to"). If my husband SHOULD become a drug addict or drunk and cheat on me....he's still out the door and he is aware of this. :)
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 4:50 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

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