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2 Bumps

Lack of manners/etiquette when it comes to RSVPing

Does this happen to you ladies? The last week of school I gave dd's birthday party invite to her friends and told their moms. Half the people have not replied yet and the party is this saturday! Don't people have any manners? My dd was invited to their parties all year and she made them to all but one. If I'm being courtious and letting them know that dd will be there (or not), why are they not showing the same courtesy to me? I don't know a few of the mom well so I feel weird sending them e-mails, but now I have to do that because I have to give a headcount to the party place by Wednesday. UGH!!!


Asked by Ashoonik at 4:13 PM on Jun. 20, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,618 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Yes, I hate it when that happens! It is very rude of people not to RSVP! Even worse when they don't RSVP and show up anyway, and then get rude cause you did not add their kid into the 'head count' and the kid might not get party favors or be allowed to stay (at specialty parties where you need to have a specific head count).
    So to avoid RSVP drama I will write the time/date of the party on the invitations but not the party location. Instead I put please RSVP at (phone number) by X date for party address/information. That way if they want to know where the party will be, they have to RSVP.

    Answer by MizLee at 4:23 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Unfortunately this is nothing new... as long as there are parties there will be people who don't RSVP.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:15 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I know, I don't understand why people don't RSVP anymore. This has been a big gripe w/other moms at my daughters preschool & friends of mine.

    Answer by cheekycherub at 4:15 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • It is becoming more and more prevalent to not respond. I agree it is rude. Sadly there is nothing you can do about it but it sure makes it hard to plan things.

    Answer by Melbornj at 4:16 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Its just a given that you're going to have to contact the stragglers. Always, ALWAYS make the RSVP date a few days BEFORE the drop dead deadline you have.

    Answer by jmpj8107 at 4:26 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I am having the same problem right now. I sent invitations for DD's party about 2 wks ago and I have not received the first RSVP either. I am needing a head count also. Her party is this coming Sunday. When is your DD's birthday? Mine is this coming Wednsday. Happy Birthday to your DD.

    Answer by momoftaterbug at 4:37 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • It is terribly rude, but people do NOT RSVP any more. This is really hard and inconsiderate. But I have been to weddings where the number of guests was a lot higher than expected. Actually, getting 10% replies is considered a "good" average! Yuck!

    You will have to call or email the moms who did not respond. Try to find your happy place, and be patient and polite, so you don't put them on the defensive. You want your daughter to have a good birthday, after all. It isn't your place to teach the moms better manners. Make some excuse, like maybe you can't find their reply - assuming they sent one - then it's up to them to say they never sent it or not. It's very inconsiderate, but it's almost better NOT to send out invitations at all, just to call everyone! Also, the last week of school, papers might have been misplaced, and some moms might not have even SEEN the invitation! Calling will give them a chance to attend.

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 9:56 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • If they don't respond and I give a final headcount, they party place will not accomodate them because they have to make the pizza dough based on the number of kids. They are very strict and don't want to waste food. Do you think it would be rude for them to be turned away by the party venue? If it was a party at home, I wouldn't care, because I always have extra food, but this is an outside party.

    Comment by Ashoonik (original poster) at 4:23 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • MizLee, that's a good trick to give them the location when they RSVP. I may just do that next year! What's interesting is that these people have parties outside too, so don't they know how important it is to have the final head count? I responded to their invites!

    Comment by Ashoonik (original poster) at 4:26 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • My dd's party is on Saturday, but her actual birthday is on July 8th. July is such a crazy month that we were only able to have her party once in July. I always try to do her birthday the last weekend of June before people go on their summer vacations. Then we always do something special on her birthday. Half the people RSVP'd the first week, the rest I'm still waiting for. Happy Birthday to your dd also.

    Comment by Ashoonik (original poster) at 4:45 PM on Jun. 20, 2011