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What to do about SMIL...

I shared with CM's before about my run in with the SMIL. She says I can talk to her if anything is bothering, then when I do I blows up in my face. And turns one little concern into something big, that affects the whole family.

Weeks later, she tells my DH that if he has any concerns or feedback concerning work, that he can share with her. He does so, and guess what, she pulls the same crap with him..

I have kept my distance from her since the incident with her and I. But DH has to work with her.
Poor guy, my FIL is blind to see how she really is. This is his fourth marriage. He tells his mother that he feels bad for what happened with SMIL and I. But what he really needs to do if he really wants things to work out is have a serious talk with his wife.
I told DH to have a talk with his dad.
Now, is there anything I can do? What would you do?

Answer Question
 
Fantasystar

Asked by Fantasystar at 5:44 PM on Jun. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (338 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I'd continue to keep your distance. If that is how she handles things, then she probably won't change. I don't know the situation before. She wants to be your confidante, but throws it all right back at you?? No thanks.
    ShelbysHope76

    Answer by ShelbysHope76 at 5:48 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • You and your hubby need to not talk with her about ANY marital issues. I wouldn't talk with her about anything other then light conversation. Ever again. She will take the slightest topic with any hint of seriousness to it and blow it so far out of proportion. Your hubby needs to keep his trap shut, too. It doesn't matter that he works with her. He can keep his mouth shut. He can make nice, and not talk about his personal life. You are his wife, and he needs to put you first. Keep your marriage between the two of you. If ya'll have any concerns, talk about it amongst you. Or get a therapist. She is clearly NOT a person you can trust. And if she offers to help again, tell her to bugger off.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 5:58 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Besides, you can always come on here for advice:) You can even post anon if you need to!
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 5:59 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Well, the concern that I brought to her attention was about the text she sent me saying, "I guess it's because I pay him". And that was about her taking his picture all the time, along with the comment was wrong. It's very complicated. She was mad that it took me so long to talk to her about it. Saying it can really mess someone up or something. Lecturing me about stress, and how it's ruining her dad.. Later, Her excuse for blowing up at me was from stress. WTF is that?!.
    Fantasystar

    Comment by Fantasystar (original poster) at 6:20 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Other than that. I don't share those things with her. only because she's a S-mil, and she's kind of off in the head. Well in my opinion..
    DH, does not talk to her about our marriage, he talked to her about work things. (the have their own internet business. He told her that he leaves the cables in the house for future customers. That made her mad, saying people are going to think we are stupid or something. FIL leaves the cables in the homes too. IDK what the big deal
    Fantasystar

    Comment by Fantasystar (original poster) at 6:20 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

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