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4 Bumps

OMG I dont know what to do now...Pls read...What would you do??

So my DF and I just got our 2 boys back from spending some summer time with their grandparents(my parents) and they spoiled my 7 month old so bad that you cannot sit him down ever without him screaming his head off. So we decided that we were going to slowly start the crying out method(pls do not bash me for that) so he can at least learn to play by himself and soothe himself to sleep. Well, today when I tried to put him down for a nap, of course he was screaming, and my neighbor came down and asked if everything was ok and why was I ignoring my child. Now I am so scared to just let him cry it out and learn to soothe himself it is insane. I am scared that someone is going to call CPS on me for neglect or something along those lines. I just don't know what to do...What would you do if you were in my shoes??

 
LiLJeni

Asked by LiLJeni at 7:23 PM on Jun. 20, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 30 (44,491 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (72)
  • I'm SO sorry people are attacking you. Listen people, she asked a question, yes, but why be so judgmental in your replies? You are doing NOTHING to help, and probably making her situation even worse. I think this keeps getting bumped so people can keep on putting her down. Personally I would take down this question if I were her. She's not going to get any help or support from you lot, that's for sure. To the LW: I'm sorry about everything that's happening. I DO agree that you can't really 'spoil' a child this young, but it is also important that he is able to stand a bit of time on his own. Mothers DO need time to attend to their own needs at certain points during the day. If you can't even go to the bathroom in peace, or take care of your other child, well, that's a lose-lose situation. I would personally call a child psychologist and ask for advice...PROFESSIONAL advice. This was obviously the wrong place to look for help.
    Carolina_D

    Answer by Carolina_D at 12:55 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • You are not going to like my answer. I would not have left my 7 month old with anyone for 2 months.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 7:37 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • So you are going from too much spoiled attention by your Parents to NO attention with the Cry it out thing? That's way too drastic. I think if you try the method (I never did) then it should be a gradual thing that you build up to so the baby is not even aware of it. Maybe the baby is getting sick also.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 7:29 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • So was giving your 7mo to your parents just for convinence? Should have thought of that while we moved sure would have made those few months of figuring out our moving situation easier w/o my 3yo! I simply dont understand why you gave up your baby for two months your reasoning dosent make sense. Anyway at that age switching houses like that for long periods of time is of course going to have consequences. You cant just yank him from home to home & faimly to family & expect him to act/be the same.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 7:46 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Let him cry for no more than 15 minutes at a time. Your neighbor is being nosy and she needs to MYOB. IF CPS is called, they will come and investigate and when they see nothing is going on that will be the end of it. You can also tell your neighbor what is going on and ask her for suggestions. But, you CANNOT spoil a baby.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:26 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • The point of my last comment (forgot to put it in) was that I dont believe your chlid got spoiled as you have put it. I think your baby got used to a whole new home, routine, family. Did you think of the fact that he may be crying bc he's upset to be with you instead of at your parents house & bc of that he wants to be held to feel secure & safe? After two mo with your parents at that young of an age he is going to consider your parents house to be his home, dont you think?
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 7:50 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I am not saying it canceled it out I am simply saying he dosent understand. If I let my 3 1/2 yo live with another set of parents in another house for two months she certainly wouldnt come back to me (esp if I moved too) without plenty of issues. Small children do not understand drastic change like that. Instead of just tossing him in the crib alone ease him into, get him used to your rules, routine, habits, family again. It wont take him too long to adjust again but issues are to be expected in this situation. While I dont agree with your choice & dont understand it at all I didnt say you were the worse mom in the world.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 7:57 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Mel is right, he's totally out of whack right now. he needs to be cuddled and loved on and only after he starts to feel secure can you start sleep training and ferberizing him. Until then your CIO method is really hurting his feelings. He wants his mama really badly right now, and leaving him to cry is going to seem cruel to him.

    We all do what we think is best, but in this case, leaving a little baby with another family for TWO MONTHS (which was almost half of his lifetime at that point) may have been a terrible idea. Were you homeless between not being able to move in and finding a new house? And how come you couldn't take them back once you got in and get everything situated as a family? Two months is a really long time when you're little.

    I'm not judging, there are situations that this might have actually been best. Could you elaborate on this?
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 8:05 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • Well I say 10 minutes,, but you cannot spoil a baby for sure,,,
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:28 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

  • I did not have kids to make my life easy. *shrugs*
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 7:40 PM on Jun. 20, 2011

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