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What to do? Bio mom strikes a blow again...

Me and hubs has custody of ss my hubby called to say hi ss is with bio mom for 1/2 the summer we split summer work from school and hubs asked are you doing your work? Ss responds no my mom won't let me so hubs gets bio on the phone and asks y her response was I'm not making him do that its summer wmso if she dosnt have him do it we are supposed to make ss do double when he comes home that's bs or should I send that half back to school with a note saying incomplete due to mothers visit she acts so concerned to the school like she is an involved parent but she didnt know he couldn't read we taught him when he move in last year I know it sounds evil of me to send it incomplete but I don't feel like he should be spending every day doing school work when he's with us and it was split evenly yes my kids are in private school and they have summer work a lot of it too

 
rinamomof2

Asked by rinamomof2 at 7:12 AM on Jun. 21, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 21 (11,629 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • do what you can when he comes home... then CALL the school when you can and explainit... not a note!! Come up with a plan with the school to make up as much as possible. I'm sure it's not the first custody issue they've dealt with!!

    Then tell her next summer he can go with her when the work is done (b/c her method is making the next school harder for him)...maybe a week in late august would be best!

    I was raised by my stepMom while my dad worked & bio mother partied.... my stepmom did all the mom stuff with us... I am still thankful to this day!!

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 4:00 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Unfortunately you can't make her help him do his work so, I would help him as much as i could when he gets back then yes, send it in unfinished and explain the situation to the teacher. It's not right what she's doing especially to him but there's really nothing you can do! tour husband should bug her about it, over and over again , maybe she'll cave!

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 7:28 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Don't punish the child for her irresponsibility. If you need to spend everyday doing school work to make that child productive and successful, then just suck it up and do it.
    Kimedbs

    Answer by Kimedbs at 8:08 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I would be pissed that she "won't let him" If she doesnt' want to push it that's one thing, but theres no reason that you couldn't hold SS responsible for his own work.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 8:55 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Can you husband call her back and tell her how important it is that he completes the work? I guess she thinks she is being "nice'. I would have my hubbs tell her that she can go on the first day of school, and explain that she wouldn't allow him to complete the work, perhaps the thought of having to explain herself would motivate her? I know it is going to suck to have him finish it when he gets back, but I would do it instead of turning it in unfinished.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:56 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I would send the work in incomplete with a note. I would also think about getting the visitation changed and explain to the judge that this was ordered from school and she did not feel the child should be educated, but rather play.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 8:45 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I think when he is with you he should do a set amount of time of work and you should encourage him and reward him for making the best use of that time possible. I think 90 minutes to 2 hours is plenty, but challenge him to get 5 pages done rather than 2. It is for his benefit. Encourage him to beat his own best record. You have to make him want it. It has nothing to do with her. It is all about him and his future.
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 10:43 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • JLS it clearly says "me and hubs." Not that I am defending her grammar. Not a period in the entire post. Just one question mark. I hope she is capable of better and just being lazy because it is only the internet. But OP, if you want to be better understood, put out the effort to use the language correctly next time. And good luck with all your kids.

    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 4:21 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • If you have custody, does he have to spend half the summer with her?
    Unfortunately, you can't make her more responsible. She has already proven herself irresponsible, since her son couldn't read, and you have custody. If she refuses to make him do homework, then you'll have to help him when he comes home. You don't want him to fall further behind and fail. However, you can make it fun. Do one school assignment right after breakfast, then let him play. Do one right after lunch, play time, and do one right after supper - then playtime until bed. You get the added benefit that kids are more attentive and sharper immediately after eating than when they are running low on steam. Also, you can have your sons do the same thing - so the stepson doesn't feel like he's being punished. If your sons don't have homework to do, create assignments for them. Math review worksheets, science projects, or even just read a book for ten minute
    LoreleiSieja

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 9:23 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Why punish the boy for his mother's mistakes? Have him work extra hard when he comes back with you that way he learns responsibility....not that he can make excuses.

    banana-bear

    Answer by banana-bear at 12:10 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

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