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I need help with my son, is he bored, does he want attention.. what is it?

My son is going to be 7 next month and I feel completely hopeless and confused on what to do. I want him to be happy. But as whos expensense? My husband gets so mad at him for things that i have learned to ignore. But should I be ignoring them? When we go out anywhere he acts up like he has issues, stupid noises, making faces, and anything to push our buttons. I just wish I knew what to do. I am embarrassed for him, my husband and myself. I look at other kids acting like that and I think, Im glad that isnt my kid, but this time it is. I could REALLY use some help here!

 
ohiomommy77

Asked by ohiomommy77 at 1:31 PM on Jul. 12, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (9)
  • I agree with everything everyone's mentioned so far, but wanted to add one thing. By the sounds of it, he's choosing to make the faces, noises, etc. Talk with him before you go out about what your expectations are. And tell him, we all have choices. If you choose to ______ then this is going to be the consequence (going home?, losing a privilege, etc.) If/When he starts, remind him once that he has a choice to make, and if he does it a second time, follow through with the consequence. Then, once your home, remind him of what was expected, and that he made a choice to do what he did, and as a result, this was the consequence. Same if it's a good outing...every choice we make has a consequence. That may help you out as well.
    dimplz125

    Answer by dimplz125 at 4:05 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • It sounds like he does want attention. I would be embarrassed too. You need to sit down with him before you leave anywhere and discuss the new rules. He should be able to use good manners when out in public.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 1:40 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • I have tryed, he doesnt seem to listen or care. He has NO self control. He is going to be 7 next month for crying out loud!
    ohiomommy77

    Answer by ohiomommy77 at 2:18 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • Why are you ignoring some of his behavior? Accommodating your son all the time may make him happy for the moment. In order for him to learn how to be a well adjusted happyadult he must learn how to control himself and behave appropriately for different situations

    .How does he behave in school? Many children behave for other caregivers, but not their parents. 

    If you do decide to take a firmer approach with your son expect him to rebel against it and get worse before it gets better.  I work with parents all the time who try to get stricter and think it doesn't work because the kids get worse.  If your son has been pushing your buttons he is highly skilled at getting he wants from you (entertainment, attention, whatever).  Don't expect him to jump on board and cooperate.

    MAUREEN55

    Answer by MAUREEN55 at 2:23 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • Keep in mind, this behavior could be due to numerous factors. I've worked with lots of kids who sound like your son, but of course I'm making lots of assumptions based on a couple of sentences. You could get feedback from people who know your son. Maybe his teachers.
    MAUREEN55

    Answer by MAUREEN55 at 2:23 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • Something else you need to consider is that boys are just more emotionally immature. They do stupid things, and it's not always because they are trying to get more attention, they just do them to amuse themselves. However, acting up in public needs to be an option taken off the table. If he acts up in public then everyone has to go home. I would say by the time you get to the car he will have figured out that his behaviour isn't going to be put up with out in public anymore.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 3:37 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • Some kids are naturally prone to be a "ham", and will do whatever they can to be in the spotlight. It may be something that your husband isnt used to yet, but he may grow to ignore it just as you have. Even still he needs to know that there is a time and a place for all behavior. In the store or when you are in public with him, let him know that it is embarrassing for you to have him act like that. I have a son like that, and I have a code phrase for him. When I say in a stern voice, "Do I need to take you to the bathroom?", he knows he needs to tone it down or we are headed to the family restroom for a spanking.... After a few times, he caught on to the idea..... I am not saying beat your child in public, I'm saying that you may have to put your foot down and make it known that that sort of behavior isnt appropriate, and it wont be tollerated. Good Luck....
    taracv

    Answer by taracv at 5:40 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • He needs one on one time with mama and daddy. not as a group, but daddy can do a puzzle with him, take him out to eat, play basketball with him...alone.
    you could read to him, do a craft, teach him how to cook something, or how to build a bonfire...
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 9:02 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • These are all great.. Thanks for the help everyone! We do the one on one tie with each of us, because that is very important to my self and my husband. I am good friends with his last teacher ad she is helpful to a point. She mostly just tells me he will grow out of it. She is a great person, but I want to deal with it now, not 10 years from now when its WAY to late.
    ohiomommy77

    Answer by ohiomommy77 at 10:15 AM on Jul. 14, 2008

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