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5 Bumps

If you had a child conceived through rape, would you ever tell the child the truth about their 'father'? PIOG

Would you volunteer the information? At what age?

If your child asked, would you tell them the truth or would you lie?

 
IhartU

Asked by IhartU at 9:14 AM on Jun. 21, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 27 (31,412 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (31)
  • I would raise them to know that they had a father who was not in their life because they had made some bad choices... as a child old enough to understand and comprehend I would tell them. There would always be a question about who their father is and chances are you may or may not even know his name... I would raise my child to know they were the light out of a bad situation.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 9:55 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • No - never, ever, ever, ever... why put that on a child?? Even as an adult that would be hurtful...
    Camilletnt

    Answer by Camilletnt at 9:16 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Yes, I would. This hits close to home for me. That;s how I was conceived. I was told the truth when I was about 14. I was hurt of course, but I would have been hurt and probably mad if I found out on my own or even as an adult.
    RelaxedMom2-3

    Answer by RelaxedMom2-3 at 9:24 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I would lie. You might as well say "gee, you were never wanted".
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 9:19 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Yeah I would. How they were conceived doesn't mean I loved them any less. They are still my child. However I would probably wait to relenquish all the details until they were at least 15 and old enough to understand.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:21 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • NO WAY!
    I'd tell them it was a short lived relationship and he's now dead.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:48 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Yes. I would be honest with the child. Although when they were super young and asked about their father I would simply say something along the lines of "He wasn't a nice man, we're better on our own." And leave it at that. But that is definitely information they are entitled to! It affects them, whether you want it to or not. So yes, I would tell them once I felt they were at an age to understand rape and handle the truth...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:12 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I would rather they know from me than from someone else who assumed they knew springing it on them out of the blue. Or for them to find out after I died and not be able to answer their questions, so they make up their own narrative in their head of how it came about. What you can imagine can be thousands of times worse than reality, and far more damaging.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 3:54 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I think the child deserves the truth. It would depend on the maturity level of the child as to when I would tell her/him.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 9:16 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • It woud be a hard question you never want the child to know but sometimes someone else will tell and that will be more hurful. Pray and then if you choose to share then arrange cousiling.
    MamawWalker

    Answer by MamawWalker at 9:21 AM on Jun. 21, 2011