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In love but still cheat?

I am very much still in love with my husband but I have been talking to a co worker on the side. He also has a wife and is very much in love with her. We have been talking for the past month about everything and anything, no limits. We have both expressed our wanting each other. It hasn't got physical yet but I have a feeling it will soon. My question is can you still be in love with your husband and cheat on him at the same time? Could there be issues that I might not be addressing and maybe I'm not as in love with him as I thought.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Jun. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • You're being selfish
    You want your cake and eat it too.
    Part of you thinks you can give in to your urges and its ok,because you still love your husband,but its obvious you don't respect him
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:09 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Love is about committment more than it is about feelings or attractions. You have committed to your husband, so this other guy is off limits. You really need to break this off now--cleanly and permanently. Your actions follow your thoughts, and you are thinking about the wrong man. You can control that by pledging to yourself right now to never think of this other guy again, and you can do that. Instead, replace every thought of this guy with one of your husband. You are playing with fire, and you are about to suffer third degree burns. It is not worth the pain, so just tell this dude that you have made a very serious mistake and you are not going to risk your marriage for him or any other dude and that all your time, attentions and affections are going to be directed toward your own husband.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:11 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Don't cheat on your husband,and don't be another mans mistress...his wife will be devastated. Spend all that energy on working on your marriage and figuring out whats missing with your husband..chances are the only thing that is missing..is YOU.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:12 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • If you're even thinking of cheating, then yes there are issues that you are not addressing. If you were truly happy in your marriage, cheating wouldn't be something that would even cross your mind.

    As for can you be in love and still cheat...I'm not sure. In one way, I think if you can cheat, you must not love your spouse, because otherwise why would you hurt them that way? But then again, you can have issues and still love each other. And if you're avoiding dealing with those issues, cheating can look tempting. So, I really don't know if I think you can still be in love and cheat.

    I do think you need to sit down with your husband and start talking about the issues that you two are avoiding. You're already cheating emotionally, and you should really put a stop to that. Work on your marriage and fix it, or end it, but don't get involved with someone else until it's truly over.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 10:12 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Well I know I couldn't be in love with my hubby and talking to another man, If I was you and I loved my hubby I would distance myself from this Other man and work on my relationship with my hubby , but let me ask you a question.. What would you do or feel like if your hubby were doing this to you with one of his coworkers?
    momto4girzls

    Answer by momto4girzls at 10:13 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • You are already cheating on him - Emotionally.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:13 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I think that if the thought of cheating has entered your mind, one, there is something missing in your relationship with hubby and two you are not in love as you think you are. A woman who truly loves her husband will not wonder, will work in her relationship instead.
    older

    Answer by older at 10:14 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I heard a podcast once that talked about this. It was really interesting actually. There was a study done that found that a large percent of women cheat although they are perfectly happy in their relationship. It went on to explain other things as well. So, i'd say yes, it is possible. Maybe you can google it. It was on NPR
    BitsMom00

    Answer by BitsMom00 at 10:15 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • My husband has already cheated on me before so I know what it feels like.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:15 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Put yourself in your husbands shoes. How would you feel if he was talking to some other woman and telling her everything and they've expressed the want for eachother...and now he's planning to get physical soon. How would you feel? Would you feel like he had ANY respect for you, or loved you AT ALL any more? No. I don't believe you can still truely be in love with someone if you are willing to cheat on them. Sorry.
    mlmkjw

    Answer by mlmkjw at 10:15 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

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