Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

Been bothering me/feel guilty.

So I have a 3 yr old daughter and her dad was very much in her life when we split up but then some things happened and i got a restraining order filed for custody and now i have her full time. I told the judge i didnt want support since he was in jail and I didnt want to keep them away from eachother I just want him to get his life in order thatw ay he can see our daughter like he use too but he blames me and then he got out and got a job and he didnt even offer to help financially now. I got mad and said i needed help now that he is working and he told me why when i have my man living with me. He mum even asked me why am i asking for help now. His mother has been harrassing me, I changed my # and she came by the hosue i wasnt there and even went to my grandmas talking stuff about me threatening to take me to court. I dont want to keep my daughter from her dad or his fam and now i don't even care about him providing for her.


Asked by shar-hulk at 11:04 AM on Jun. 21, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,888 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Don't let other peoples ignorance make you feel guilty. You know all the truths.
    I would go file for a custody agreement to be drawn up legally where he gets some visitation time...his choice to utilize it or not.And get a child support order set into place. He and his mother don't have to agree with you...the law does.
    Good Luck.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:13 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • He should be supporting her financially, without question. I dont' think I would want my child around those people at all

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:07 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • try to explain to them what happened and that since he is the dad then it would be best for him to help. even if he doesnt see her he should try to make the most out of it by calling her or something

    Answer by khyleezmama at 11:09 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • i wouldn't arrange for them to see each other until your dd asks

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 11:09 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • what is he blaming you for? if it was his actions that got him in trouble then he needs to take responsibility ad not let his child suffer

    Answer by khyleezmama at 11:10 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Go to court and file a child support order and do it right now,, stop the calling of others and even if he doesn't want to see the child he is obligated to support her, this must be very confusing to your daughter.

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:14 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • First of all, HE is responsible for his own actions, not you. Placing blame on you is his way of justifying his actions. his mother should be the least of your worries. Take CARE of Your child and Yourself. Don't let anyone tell you what to do. Be there for your child. Be strong for you both. You are your child's security and rock. Good luck.

    Answer by AdrianaS at 11:10 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • At some point he will come to you with child support and an eager heart. That is when I would let him have some visitation rights. Until then, I would not have anything to do with those people! If he went back to jail, then that is good, he needs more time to review his thoughts and goals. His family has no rights to your child. Only you and the father do. He relinquished his rights when he went to jail and now he needs to earn them back. So now you only have the rights. If you show them any slack now, you will have to do that forever! Tough love it!

    Answer by Gingerwheel at 11:23 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Don't let them scare you! Just because you have someone does not relieve him of money or support. He is still her father! I would try to get child support and make a police report if anyone threatens you again.

    Answer by suzzanna at 11:36 AM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • That makes sense! I am sorry you are in that position. Maybe at some point you can offer him supervised visits or more if she shapes up a little :)

    Answer by Gingerwheel at 1:40 PM on Jun. 21, 2011