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Is it fair for my husband and I to adopt a child from a different race?

Now, this would be years from now, but my husband and I are considering adopting through the foster care system. I am caucasian and my husband is 1/4 African American(though his mom, who is 1/2 African American is adopted and was adopted by caucaisan. My husband looks white, since he is only 1/4). I want to tell the state that we will take any child that needs a home, regardless of race, but someone said that it would not be fair to the child, to be raised by people that knew nothing of their culture. I just want to love and help a child, that would also help me, by letting me be their mom. What do you think?

 
Harrisonsmommie

Asked by Harrisonsmommie at 11:02 PM on Dec. 12, 2008 in Adoption

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This question is closed.
Answers (34)
  • Well, Look at it from this perspective...why should a child be told that they aren't going to be adopted, even though there is a family out there who would love them and care for them-just because they are of different races? A child in need is a child in need, and to deny that child a chance at a better life, full of love, just because of some pigment differences is quite asinine. We all live in this world and we all should have the opportunity to achieve something better in life-and you can't tell me that a child is going to somehow be better off having to stay in the system for a year (or several) longer than a child of a different race-just because there aren't parents of that child's race to adopt him or her.
    TempestRayne

    Answer by TempestRayne at 1:13 PM on Dec. 13, 2008

  • Of course there's nothing wrong with that! You taking in a needy child is so much more important! And besides, you can learn about their culture, it will make some fun bonding time for you and your child once they are old enough. Besides, do you honestly think that whatever foster care they're with really gives a damn about what culture they are, or what beliefs they have? Of course not, you'll be helping the child. You go ahead and help that needy baby, no matter what race. They'll appreciate the love and kindness you are giving them :)

    Good luck!
    shessohippie

    Answer by shessohippie at 11:13 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • Well, Obama's WHITE grandparents did a heck of a job raising him!!!! Race was never an issue in their family!!! I believe in one race...the human race!!! I think foster care adoption is needed, infant adoption is a scam!!!! IMO
    Kidsmamabear

    Answer by Kidsmamabear at 11:19 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • Well I think the culture thing is not really a big deal. The only thing I would worry about is them feeling different. I have heard many adoptees say when they are grown they always felt out of place because, they were a different race. This made their adoption experience very good. I think it is wonderful you want to help a child any child. I think maybe if you do adopt a child from another race I would adopt at least a second child from the same race. I think this would get rid of the problem I was talking about. The adoptees that I have heard say this were the only one that was a different race. I hope that makes sense and good luck. I think it is wonderful that you want to do that. Right they really need parents to adopt African American children.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • Marlou Russell http://www.marlourussellphd.com/ says that unless you have at least one AA family as close friends then white people should not adopt an AA child. It's about culture and fitting in which is hard enough for all adoptees. I think that a kid in foster care just wants to be adopted and if it saves them from aging out it has to be a good thing regardless.


    It's certainly something to think about. Do you live in a city with lots of diversity, or in a small Midwestern town where everyone is white. Are you committed to including your child's culture into your own. Food for thought.

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 10:07 AM on Dec. 13, 2008

  • onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 10:42 AM on Dec. 13, 2008

  • We have children who are African American, Caucasian, and Hispanic. Its not a big deal here at all. lol Skin color is just one way that God used to make us all special. Go for it! Thousands of children are waiting for families and need someone to love them unconditionally. "Culture" cracks me up on AA families too. Some AA families eat, worship, and do the exact same things as we do and some don't. These are "American" children, not internationally adopted child who have a whole different culture. lol They need to see positive role models with their same skin color who succeed and you need to know how to care for their skin/hair, but "culture" itself isn't so different.
    mommy9

    Answer by mommy9 at 10:56 AM on Dec. 13, 2008

  • I think that as long as you can do some research on their culture... why not??!? It really doesnt matter the color of their skin... what is important is that you love, care, and support them. no matter what. everything else is just minor details. i have a friend who is adopting a baby from Taiwan. they are both white, but they decided that they would spend 2 weeks of every year that they waited for their daughter over in taiwan learing the culture. they are going to pick her up on the 29th of this month and they are planning on spending a month with her there. .... Love doesnt have a color or culture... I am sure the child wouldnt complain.
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:37 AM on Dec. 13, 2008

  • I think it really shouldn't matter. You can educate yourself and your child. You can find "mentors" of the same race to help them feel like they belong. As long as you love this child, their race shouldn't matter.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Dec. 13, 2008

  • We are hoping to adopt as well. We are a white couple. My sister's husband is AA and they have 3 children who are mixed and my sister has 2 other children who are white from her first marriage. For their family, if they wanted to adopt an AA child, I think it would work well and the child wouldn't feel "out of place". We have weighed adopting an AA child and as we of course wouldn't have any kind of issue with it, we live in a predominantly white area and felt for the sake of the child not feeling as they "fit" in, we think it's best to not adopt an AA if we continue to live in the area we do. But who knows what the future holds.
    RentaMom

    Answer by RentaMom at 12:05 PM on Dec. 13, 2008

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