I recently left my abusive partner. We were both miserable and my kids (not his) were miserable as well. We have been speaking civilly to each other as we sort out separating our finances and everything.
He has now admitted that he was abusive (never would before). He has acknowledged it and said he will change. He asked if he could prove he had changed, would I give him another chance?
Now, I would not do it right now. My kids are happy he's gone, and frankly I'm feeling so much better, too. However, I do still love him and I remember how he was before he became abusive and if we had that, I'd be happy.
It would take years before I'd believe that he wouldn't abuse me again, and of course he would need to get counseling and stuff to prove to me that he means it. I think a lot of what he did (never physical) he didn't realize it was abuse - his mother did that same stuff to him, and I think he really thought it was just "normal".
I'm thinking that the best I could give him right now is that we could be friends (who don't hang out), and if in a few years, I can see that he's changed, that maybe we could consider giving it another try - not until my kids are on their own, though, so that if things were to go south again, they wouldn't be a part of it..
Is this a totally insane thought, or would you consider this, too?
(And yes, I do know that most abusers don't change, and that this could be a ploy to try to get me to come back, which is why I will not go back now.)
Asked by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Jun. 21, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by butterflyblue19 at 12:24 PM on Jun. 21, 2011
Answer by AzMom520 at 12:24 PM on Jun. 21, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Jun. 21, 2011
Answer by gdiamante at 12:41 PM on Jun. 21, 2011
Answer by NannyB. at 12:46 PM on Jun. 21, 2011
Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 12:50 PM on Jun. 21, 2011
Answer by MizLee at 1:18 PM on Jun. 21, 2011
Answer by tspillane at 1:41 PM on Jun. 21, 2011
Answer by pookiekins34 at 1:41 PM on Jun. 21, 2011
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