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What to do when family doesnt listen when they watch your kids?

when we went on our honeymoon, my grandparents in law watched our youngest and my mother in law and aunt in law watched our 2 yr old. his grandparents took him to my dad in laws house to stay the night (they smoke in their house with our kids right there). and the aunt in law & mother in law destroyed our house, didnt make him sleep in his bed (they stayed at our house with him) didnt keep him on a schedule, took his bath toys OUTSIDE TO THE POOL, AND LEFT THEM THERE, gave him foods we dont give him, didnt brush his teeth, ATE OUR WEDDING CAKE etc etc etc. our house was disgusting when we came home. we had ants because they left food out everywhere. and broke our AC. how do we take care of this without starting arguments? they already dont like me and i just dont know how to handle it. i cant just ignore really angry over is my husband.

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Asked by cgs_dal_mommy at 4:31 PM on Jun. 21, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Well..whats done is done. Clean up the mess and never ever ask them to babysit again.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 4:32 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I'd try to move past this if they aren't worth talking to and just never ask any of them to watch your babies again.. ever!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:32 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • They're his family, so he needs to be the one to deal with it. You need to zip your lip and let him fight it out with them.

    Answer by SWasson at 4:34 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I don't think you can do anything about what has been done already. The only thing you can do is to decide not to have them babysit again. A bad babysitter really should not be given a second chance, even if they are family.

    Sorry that happened.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 4:35 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Whew that's piss poor of them. Too bad if they don't like you, they know they are f'd up for doing that. Cut your losses and you don't have to speak to them.

    Answer by yesmaam at 4:35 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Write up a bill for damages and repairs and have your husband give it to his family. That is out of line and disrespectful.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 4:37 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I agree with the ohters. Don't have them babysit again. Try to restrain yourselves, because even though you're angry (and rightfully so), you will gain nothing by pursuing this except hurt feelings and family drama. You can't fix what happened. The only thing (and I wouldn't do it) is your husband could ask how the AC went out. That gives them the option to fess up if they had something to do with it (they might not have).

    Now, I expect rule changes, diet changes, schedule changes, bath toys in the pool, etc with babysitters- nobody expects a babysitter to do everything just the same as they do- but that does seem like a bit much at once.

    Answer by Tracys2 at 4:47 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • in-laws, let him handle. you handle your family!

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 4:49 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I think your husband should try to address the situation first, without you. If they are his relatives, he should be able to express his opinions without any repercussions. He should explain to them what you guys set forth for your kids, what happened or didn't happen, and let them know that was not acceptable to him or you. If it hurts their "feelings", then so be it. But, they are YOUR kids, and it was YOUR home, and you have every right to dictate what should and should not happen in your absence. Also, he should let them know that unless your "rules" are followed next time, if there is a next time, you will find alternate sitters for your kids that you and he both feel more comfortable with.

    Answer by Lynda-Lou at 7:10 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Never leave you children with someone who will not respect your decisions for your children. It doesn't matter who they are, your family his family, or friends.

    Answer by mommyhelmic at 8:50 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

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