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2 Bumps

Just a quick question....really need some advice

So a few weeks ago i fell and was terrified (was 17 weeks pregnant) and had to go to the dr to make sure everything was ok (everything is fine am now 21 weeks) well since my husband had to work i had my mom go with me into the room incase anything had happened to the baby i wanted someone there.

So my question and a little back ground : This is our second DD and with our first DD we agreed that nobody but DH and i would be in the appointments and ultrasounds.
But since this emergency appointment his mother has been so angry and insisting she needs to go to the next appointment (Which would be an ultrasound) because my mom got to hear the heart beat and she deserve more then what my mom gets.......my problem is that i don't want people in the room and wouldn't have had my mom in the room if it hadn't been such an emergency what should i do this woman makes me uncomfortable on a normal day but when i'm pregnant it's like she's never known a nice word or comment in her life

Should i let her go with us or stick with our original decision Dh is on the fence and is making me decide (be the bad guy)

Answer Question
 
krissii

Asked by krissii at 4:48 PM on Jun. 21, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 15 (2,127 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I say let her go to one and call it done.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 4:50 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I would tell her no. Just say you were really scared and you needed YOUR mom at THAT time, but you would really prefer not to have anyone come with you to any more visits.
    dixie383

    Answer by dixie383 at 4:51 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • if you didn't want anyone at the ultrasound then don't take anyone. she can go to the next appointment after that where you will hear the heart beat again. That way they both get to hear the same thing.
    MommyH2

    Answer by MommyH2 at 4:51 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Tell her to get mad in the same pants she got glad in. It is your baby, your choice. I would try to record the ultra sound and shre the video with all of your family. Grandparents really like thiss kind of stuff.
    mama04inID

    Answer by mama04inID at 4:53 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I would stick with what you're comfortable with. If she makes you feel uncomfortable that's too bad for her. My mil never expected to come in with me. I had my mom with me for baby #2 and 4 and my sister with us for #3. You need to feel comfortable while you are the one experiencing all the discomforts of pregnancy.
    It's pretty childish of her to insist and say well she got to do it why don't I? if she were to stomp her feet it'd be a full blown tantrum!
    Explain to her that your mother came with you to provide some comfort and calm during an emergency. end of story. I hope your dh backs you in your decision.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 4:54 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Seems to me your original decision is shot, and regardless of the circumstances of your mom's attendance, it seems unfair that the other grandma doesn't get to go. She's obviously excited about her grandchild. I'd let her go - once. Course, then YOUR mom will want to go because it's an ultrasound. :)
    BethLopez

    Answer by BethLopez at 4:55 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I wouldn't let her, but that's just me.

    If you feel like you absolutely MUST, to keep the peace, then I'd offer to let her go to the next one after the ultrasound. Fair is fair, and that way she'd get the same thing your mom got, without making you more uncomfortable than necessary.

    Maybe get a DVD recording of the ultrasound (most doc's offices do that now, just be sure to call and find out what kind of media you need--DVD+R, DVD-R, etc.), and make a copy for each grandparent.
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 5:16 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • My main issue is that she wants nothing to do with my 1st DD and nothing to do with 2nd dd she only wants to do this because my mom did it if it was a matter that she was excited about our children i would probably say yes to an ob visit but her initial reaction to us getting pregnant was asking my husband how i could trap him with a second baby and how shes sure this one isn't his since we were fighting when we conceived (Her time lines off we had a fight 3 months before but in her head it was that same day...because you know she was there in the bedroom) i just can't being myself to let her in the room and would have never let my mom in the room if my husband had been able to come with me
    krissii

    Comment by krissii (original poster) at 5:25 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Stick to your decision. And let her get over it. My mother is in the room with me for every birth and my MIL respects that and understands that as the one doing the delivering I need her there. My mom was also set to go to the BIG U/S but was unable to bc she offered to keep my baby who woke up sick and my MIL never complained about that either. I dont dislike my MIL i just dont ask her to go most of the time and she doesnt complain. So... all that to say... YOU are the pregnant one and YOU know what makes you comfortable and YOU have the right to say NO!!!
    alligurl186

    Answer by alligurl186 at 5:35 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I say its ur decision...if u dont want her to go...THEN DONT LET HER GO...ur body ur appointments!!!
    msmamakatie

    Answer by msmamakatie at 10:15 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

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