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What keeps you motivated to keep on living?

I know my daughter is the only reason I stay alive. I love her but I can't help to be depressed especially when I have problems with my DH. I can't shake it off, I've been like this 20+ years. I would hate to have to take depression pills. How do you do it without having to take drugs? I work part time, other than that my daughter is with me every minute unless she's at school. I don't have a social life because I've dedicated my 20 years of marriage to be there for my family 1000% and I was happy to do that. But now I'm feeling like I'm regretting it. I was willing to give up an education, friends, even family to be there for my dh and dd but I feel my dh does not appreciate me. How do you stay motivated, what motivates you. And how do you start all over, alone? Thanks to anyone who responds.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Jun. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • You may hate to take pills, but if this is how you feel, you might try therapy and pills. GET HELP!
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 5:27 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I feel your pain. I have given up so much for my family as well. Depression is a horrible thing and it effects everyone around you, including your DH and DD. I would talk long and hard with a doctor about the pros and cons of antidepressants. I am here if ya need to chat. Take care.
    zoomomto3

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 5:28 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Hugs !! I know what you are feeling. I had similar thoughts and emotions before I learned that it was all coming from past tripping and not controlling my thoughts. The mind is so powerful. I can not go to should have, would have and could have. It is dangerous and not what I want to control my emotions. I guess it is all about gratitude, accepting what I can't change and changing what I can. Humor is also crucial. I had a very negative existence that I had to learn to starve and fight to find a better way of living. After watching the Bucket List, I started making small changes, started doing things I always dreamed of doing and shutting down that negative, self pity committee in my head. ( some of the new things were learning guitar, driving motorcycle and I have yet to start writing) Stay logical and start making small changes to search for your dreams. Good Luck. PM me anytime..
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 5:34 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Well, first, I LOVE life. My son is a big part of that. On the other side of that, I have generalized anxiety disorder, I would worry incessantly and have panic attacks if I didn't take my medication (Effexor XR once a day). I don't want to live like that, and I don't have to. Neither do you. If you really feel that bad, you CAN feel better. That's why the help is available. Don't be ashamed to ask for it.
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 5:36 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • try getting out more, maybe do volunteer work to meet new people..

    I also meditate.

    eating healthy and staying active are also ways to help with depression.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 5:53 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • what keeps me motivated, it continuing to dream for me and the kids.. not silly fantasies, but realistic goals I have for them and for myself.. once I reach one, I start another...
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 5:55 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • 1st - how long have you felt like this, if a long time, it is time to seek professional help, maybe therapy alone or added pills
    possible horomones needed
    2nd, if it is a new thing, then you can try to snap out of it on your own, take time for something that once thrilled you-long ago, did you want to write a book, paint, work with disabled kids - whatever you wanted to do when you were young and had no responsibilities

    your husband may not appreciate you, but only you can make this effect your mood
    being happy or sad is up to you
    but make sure it is not a physical issue first off

    hugs
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 6:04 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I go through this too even though my DH appreciates me. I've always felt like we'll never be equal because I stay @ home and he works...everyone who works always acts like they have it harder. (Which is not true!! They get to leave the house and feel they were productive, get rewarded & pats on the back, have a social life, a paycheck, etc.) I'll stay in bed feeling sorry for myself sometimes and then snap out of it when I'm given the opportunity to go shopping, have sushi & wine, buy a new read, rent a sappy movie (with wine lol) ....any of those things. You've gotta find something-anything-that makes you happy outside of your family. And I mean something that will let you escape for a little while.
    805doll

    Answer by 805doll at 6:27 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Everything keeps me going. I used to have bad depression but went to the dr and got the right set of pills. It was awhile to get the right kind that worked for me. Now I love life. Everything about it is worth living for. I love my kids, my grandkids, seeing them swim, play in the snow, working in my garden and watching a seed turn into a flower, hanging with my friends, shopping, sitting on my porch and watching the clouds move by. Just everything. Hang in there. See a dr, really itll help.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 6:30 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I went off depression drugs and just use all natural supplements now. Lots of vitamin D and St John's Wart type things. Go to a wellness dr and see if they can help if you are really against antidepressants. I will admit though that the antidepressants were much much better than the all natural stuff, but I just felt bad taking them.
    MommyH2

    Answer by MommyH2 at 9:35 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

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