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3 Bumps

What is more convient to the children joint custody or sole custody?

im going thru a divorce n i have 3 children w/ my husband and rght now we r going to court, i have legal custody but i want to knw if joint custody is better for our children to spend the same amount of time with both of us (so we can both have the same amount of responsibilities). He is already living w/ a lady at her house, I dnt knw her but still i think its more convient for both of us, since im about to start school. he is 34 and i am 38 and besides our three kids, i have 3 from my last marriage but they dont have a father due to his death. and since they were deprived of their father i feel this is the rght thing for my three small children (ages 4,3,2) knowing they caaan have a father.

Answer Question
 
aida1212

Asked by aida1212 at 5:21 PM on Jun. 21, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 9 (362 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • joint, that way the child can see both parents.
    artsygirl2010

    Answer by artsygirl2010 at 5:24 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • If it's possible and both parents agree, joint custody is best.
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 5:24 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I say joint but I would do every other weekend visitation.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 5:28 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Sole with visitation. It is too confusing and hard on children to flip flop. I dated a guy years ago that had a 12 year old daughter who thought she was homeless because he had her a week and the mother the next week. Not only that but as kids get older, they have friends and want to visit and get in routines like that. A lot of times it's hard for extra curricular activities because both mother and father's schedules are different. Living in two places is not good.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 5:31 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • i hav to say i dont know much about this stuff but i'm a step mum and its so nice to see a mum saying this stuff
    as i see it dose not really matter whta you get a court just work it out with you and you ex what works best for yous and the kids
    feralkitten

    Answer by feralkitten at 5:36 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • It's easier to do sole custody with whatever visitation plan can be worked out. Easier on the kids who can have a routine, and easier on the parents when they don't have to confer over every single decision.

    You having sole custody does not have to mean that your children never see their father. You can work out visitation however the two of you want--you could have sole custody and he get to keep them every weekend or every other weekend, extended visits on holidays or alternating holidays, whatever works.
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 5:47 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • There are 3 kinds of custody. Shared is equal parenting time with both parents. If you can be civil it is always better. Joint is when they live with you and visit dad every other weekend, holidays and in the summer. Sole custody is when you have sole decision making abilities and primary residential.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:49 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • What I said actually came from a child psychologist. Wednesdays and EOW aren't enough.

    Children in joint custody arrangements had less behavior and emotional problems, had higher self-esteem, better family relations and school performance than children in sole custody arrangements. And these children were as well-adjusted as intact family children on the same measures, said Bauserman, "probably because joint custody provides the child with an opportunity to have ongoing contact with both parents."
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 5:51 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • joint works IF both parties can agree on issues with the children.. but dont' expect much, if any child support if you want joint custody rather than sole.

    It all depends on the relationship you have with your ex.. in my case, sole custody is the only option
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 5:58 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I was a GAL for the juvy court system and in my opinion, sole custody is best. Kids still see both parents. however, things almost always get ugly. mom aginst dad and vice versa. not to mention kids will almost always play one aginst the other eventualy. with one parent being the boss there is less confusion and again, I say someone ALMOST always has to put their foot down. With sole custody that can be you.
    aperk2

    Answer by aperk2 at 8:36 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

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