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My DH is Christian...I'm Pagan...What should the children be?

we've been married for 15 years,and yes the conversation definitely did come up about the religion factor and children.we both agreed that as the children got older they could look into both religions and with our help and guidance could choose one when they were ready.well,about 6 months ago apparently DH brought it upon himself to take the children to church(which i have no problem with)and then proceeded to have the minister explain to them how mom was going to burn continuously in hell because she turned away from Christianity.yes ladies i was a christian turned pagan.anyway,i believe what he did was not only very hurtful but sleazy and wrong.not wrong for going to church but for the way he went about it and completely scared the children half to death.because of what he did 2 of our 4 kids want to be pagans because of this.they're now "bashing" Christianity for being so judgemental and telling false statements about paganism.i do not want my children to jump into paganism because their fathers' "scaring"them away from Christianity.i want them to look into both but now it's all a mess.how do i try to fix this?and please, advice and help from serious ladies that aren't going to damn me and my beliefs to hell.thank-you.

 
elzingah36

Asked by elzingah36 at 7:22 PM on Jun. 21, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (17)
  • What your DH did was wrong period. He shouldnt have had the minister scare the kids or bash your views. Since you support the kids in picking their own path then maybe you should take the reins on this one. Hate to say it but if my SO did this he would lose his right to lead the religion thing in our household. You need to sit down the ones who are interested & have a good clear convo with them answer any & all questions & express both religions (more if you want) with an open mind. The kids will find what they want in life but just make sure they know the floor is open for discussion & questions for now. Good luck.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 7:26 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • My dad was pagan mom catholic my brother tried buddhism and im christian so I nominate that they decide what religon they are but its only an opinion good luck
    HypoHeartBaby

    Answer by HypoHeartBaby at 7:24 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • The children should make their own decisions after being educated about both Paganism and Christianity.
    How do you fix this? Find an open minded minister (They do exist especially outside of the Baptist Sect), who can answer their questions without judgement about you. Then find someone other than you in that practices Paganism and have them answer questions without judgement about their father. Outline the conversation rules , NO JUDGEMENT, and go from there.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 7:25 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I think he got what was coming to him, he thought taking them to the minister would make his religion seem better but it only made it worse, that was wrong of him to do. I would suggest telling the children that its important to be tolerant of all religions and let them know that there are many religions out there to choose from not just two and encourage them to look into whatever they have an interest in and choose what they feel is right for them but to also accept that other people are going to have different beliefs and its not right to bash their beliefs or for a person to push their beliefs onto someone else
    DianeMary

    Answer by DianeMary at 7:28 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • After you kick your husbands booty fr allowing anyone to speak poorly of you to them, I would let it die down a bit and then talk with your kids about each of your beliefs-you may want to add in a few other beliefs as well so it does not feel like- choose Moms or Dads but more like- hey here is a variety of views, what do you think-
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 8:34 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Yeah I agree with you that this wasnt the best way for your husband to go about this, this is surely something you both needed to be on the same page about and you probably needed to handle it together with the kids with a discussion before anything was done, so I can understand you feeling hurt, maybe you and your husband can talk about it now and maybe he needs to admit to the kids that he went the wrong way about things, and see how the children feel from there......good luck
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 7:26 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I'd say educate them on the relgions and let them decided which way they want to go. We keep religion on the back burner in our family because we both have different religious upbringings. There definitely needs to be some kind of common ground, education, communication, and less bashing of any religion.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 7:27 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I'm so sorry things have turned out this way. I guess the best thing you can do is try to sit down with them and explain that not all Christians believe that way, and that they need to take their time and explore ALL beliefs before making a decision. That includes exploring other denominations of Christianity. Once they've done their research, then they can come to their own conclusions.
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 7:59 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Also, you need to tell your husbad that what he did was NOT ok, and that you're hurt by what he did. No true Christian would do what he did, and he needs to know that.
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 8:06 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • let them figure it out - they will anyway .
    janet116

    Answer by janet116 at 8:07 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

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