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Making time for yourself with kids??

What is a good way to make time for yourself when you have kids? I have 2 lovely boys that will follow me into the bathroom if they could. I love having my kids love me as much as they do but I feel like I am overwhelmed sometimes. My dh helps out a lot but the kids never want to be with him, they always want to be up my butt. I have taken hot baths and they walk in or bang on the door just to ask redundant questions. I have walked outside to just kick back for a few and they have to follow me. It's never ending and getting to be too much. We don't have anyone to watch/ babysit the kids for us to go out alone so it's always us AND the kids. I really don't want to fuss at them over something like this but that's the only way to get them to leave me alone for 5 minutes. HELP?????

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flessard

Asked by flessard at 8:31 PM on Jun. 21, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (47 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I got alone time by getting up before they did and after they went to sleep, and during nap time. I remember well a time that I thought I had them both settled in with some game they were playing so ran a nice bubble bath and took my book and planned to get a little relaxation in. One of the boys (about age 3) brought a foot stool and a book in and sat by the tub and read to me. Bless him. Treasure these times, they don't last very long. Before you know it the boys will be out of your nest.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:35 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Do you have any friends with kids the same age? Maybe have the kids all play together with the dads in charge and you and the other mom can go do something fun, or you can each go your own way for a bit. Or you can trade with them- they watch your kids this night, you watch theirs that night, etc. You can also put an ad on Craislist that you're looking for a babysitter, or better yet, go to a website with sitters that are pre-screened.
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 8:37 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Please, don't get me wrong, I absolutely love to spend time with my kids. They are such a joy to be around and make me laugh, and cry sometimes. I just need a few minutes each day to clear my head of video games, playing with Thomas the train and watching Phineas and Ferb sometimes. They are 5 and 10, so they are complete opposites and I love it. I work full time, so as soon as I get up my day starts with them, getting them ready, feeding them, going to work, coming home to cleaning and making dinner, reading books, bath times, etc etc...Just 15 minutes is all I'm asking for.
    flessard

    Comment by flessard (original poster) at 8:47 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • its very important to get some time to yourself or you will go crazy! How old are you buys? If I were you when DH is home I would go out on your own!! It seems like this will be the only way to get to be on your own, I used to just go and sit at Starbucks and have a coffee in the big couch and inhale and enjoy the time.....it can be something that simple.........or drive to a park and take a walk, whatever it takes just get out of the house, maybe your kids will catch on that you need some space, start teaching them about boundaries that when Mummys in the bath thats mummy time and for them to go to Daddy with any random thoughts etc......
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 9:23 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • designate a time during naps or after bed time, or make a few minutes early in the morning..
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 9:37 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I know the feeling except I have 5 kids. But I have no problem telling them to BACK OFF and leave me alone for an hour if I need it. In fact they now tell me to go relax when they see me getting stressed out. Of course the older 3 are old enough to kind of take over and "babysit" while I go lock myself in my room or take a long hot shower during the day. They are 11, 9 and 8. They've got in the habit of getting the baby up in the morning and feeding him so I can sleep in. At first it was just on the weekends then they started doing it before school, too. Sometimes forgetting to wake me up before they left so I'd wake up to find it's 8:30 and they left 30 minutes ago and the 5yo was watching the baby, lol.
    Now I sometimes get some quit time when the baby naps and the other 4 are outside playing.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 9:50 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I have this same problem except my kids are 4 and almost 2 so they cant even really amuse themselves. If I try to take a bath during nap time they always wake up and come get in the tub without asking. I get no time at all bc my husband doesnt see the need for it. He says he never gets to go anywhere alone so why should I need to. My answer... You go to work everyday without the kids. You get alone time every day!!!
    alligurl186

    Answer by alligurl186 at 10:14 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • At 10 and 5 they should be able to give you a few minutes to just decompress or stretch. It's ok to tell them, "Listen, I'll help you/play with you/ listen to you at (time.) I just need a few minutes of private time to catch my breathe. How about you (offer activity suggestion) until then and I'll come find you when I'm done." My kids are just about 9 and 6 1/2. They are happy to talk at me through the bathroom door but they also get the hint when I lay it out for them nicely but firmly.

    It's also ok to just take a little time AWAY from the house. Leave the kids with DH and go for a walk. Do something that requires you to leave the findable space of your house. ;)
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 11:20 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • put yourself in timeout with the timer,momis going to sit at the table and read the paper,when the timer goes off I can play with you again. Just as they cant talk/play while they are in T/O,the same rules apply to you
    RobinChristine

    Answer by RobinChristine at 1:50 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

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