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Stressed, burnt out and ready for a divorce!

Stressed, burnt out and ready for a divorce! I am 11 weeks pregnant doing all the packing for everyone since No one is helping, Doing everything by myself with the stressful sale and closing of our house and looking at moving it all by myself and a neighbors teen. I can feel myself crashing not wanting to get out of bed today and having lite stomach pains and my husband down right refuses to lend a hand... every time he is asked he will start a fight as if i wasn't already stressed enough and use it as an excuse to do nothing... I want to file for a divorce even though I don't believe there right. Need to vent, need advice, and need help I can't get.

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Mommy_Aiken

Asked by Mommy_Aiken at 8:38 PM on Jun. 21, 2011 in Health

Level 13 (1,130 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I am sorry to hear that :( that is horrible that you have to deal with EVERYTHING. Your DH should be helping you out. You should take a nice warm bubble bath and lock the bathroom door! Or go for a walk take some YOU time (if that is possible) If your DH objects tell him that stress is not good for the baby. Hope this helps a lil. *hugs*
    YerMami24

    Answer by YerMami24 at 8:46 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • That is true, your DH should be helping as much as possible, especially with you being pregnant. Take some time out just for you. If he has a problem with it, then oh well. Or try to sit down and talk to him about why he is acting like this and not wanting to help. He may be stressed out himself about something different, or even about the same things. Don't hurt yourself or the baby with the stress. It will do damage to both of you. Best of luck.
    flessard

    Answer by flessard at 8:51 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • You should NOT be doing all the packing, in fact, you should not be lifting anything over about 25 lbs....and those light stomach pains are your body telling you that you need to take it easy. You do not want to over do it. I am not saying this to scare you, I am saying this so that you know that doing too much manual labor and lifting things over about 25 lbs can cause you to miscarry. This happened to me with my first pregnancy, I did too much and didn't listen when my body was trying to tell me I was over doing it. You need to let your husband know that you can not be doing all this for risk of losing your baby, and I am surprised that with you being pregnant he is acting this way...my husband would only let me pack the light things and clean when we moved (12 weeks) and the same when we move in a week (13 weeks).
    AF4life

    Answer by AF4life at 9:09 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Go to your doctor since you are having those pains and then get the doc to say nope you can be lifting all that and moving those things around and then the lazy bastard has to help
    DianeMary

    Answer by DianeMary at 9:16 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • You should not be doing all of this packing and lifting when you are 11 weeks pregnant. It isn't safe for the baby. You are risking a miscarriage. I am not sure how but you need to get this message through to your dh. He has got to lighten the load for you or he will be putting this baby in danger. I know first hand how over doing things can cause a miscarriage. I have had 2. One was when we were moving as well and we will never know but the move may have played a part in it. Take care of YOU and that baby.
    zoomomto3

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 9:32 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • What would he do if you stopped doing it all. Is it feasible that he knows you will do it anyway and so he's resting on his laurels? The other alternative if you don't feel at ease doing nothing is not to pack his things and certainly do not lift or strain yourself at all. I'm not surprised you're feeling like you want a divorce - he should be supporting and protecting you and his unborn child, not putting you both at risk. First and foremost look after you, that's what matters. If he tries to cause a fight, don't let him, don't be drawn in. You're clearly putting the needs of your family first and you deserve a man that will nurture and support you and love and appreciate your kindness. Good luck, I hope it gets better for you.
    ItsHalfFull

    Answer by ItsHalfFull at 9:37 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • If I don't do it no 1 will. I have asked my sons friend to fill in where the family refuses to but I can not dump to much on him as even though mouthy he is the only 1 willing to lend a hand & I try to pay him off in as many ways as I can ie... junk food, video games, & take out. But I will owe this teen 4ever... hehe. I do know the risk as I recently lost a baby in oct.... my second & have never in my life been so stressed as I am know. My sister is coming up from ri this weekend & I hoping I can get her to help but I also know that she is coming up for an event & will have little to no time to move any of my stuff. I have asked others for help but know that their excuses are full of bs & they are not willing & lack the true friend gene. At this point just getting help with my 1 yr old would be an improvement. paused 4 today but tomorrow I need to go back to my rat race... to bad I had to feel like a rat running from a cat.
    Mommy_Aiken

    Comment by Mommy_Aiken (original poster) at 10:27 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I hope that you're ok and can find some support somewhere. Your husband is lucky to have you and may struggle to keep you unless he learns about caring and sharing and how to do right towards others and especially your wife/SO. He needs to value what he's got and appreciate it. I'm sure he must have some endearing qualities but he's clearly controlling and selfish...seems like he thinks the world owes him a living! Sorry, that's not helping you very much. Best of luck.
    ItsHalfFull

    Answer by ItsHalfFull at 10:39 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • if you have tried to talk it over with him and he still isnt listening or helping you then be like "look,we are done...its over,i cant take anymore of your laziness...ive had it with your stupidity,im pregnant and doing everything for everyone and not one person is helping ME out!!! when do i get a brake?"
    see what he says after that!! if nothing happens then i would just leave but thats my opinion.....good luck....just remember you and that baby are the important ones!!
    SMALLfry05

    Answer by SMALLfry05 at 12:44 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

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