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3 Bumps

Scared of husbands ex....

My husband and I had a "quick romance" ... we got engaged a month after meeting, got married a few months after that, got pregnant , and then a bought a house... all within 6 months... Before meeting each other we both came out of other relationships, i dated a guy for almost a year but broke up with him about 2 months prior to meeting my husband, and he dated a girl for about 3 months and also broke up with her right before we met.

When we first started dating we had a conversation about our pasts, and that was it... we just told each other about the things we thought each other should know, and then went on with our lives...

there was a couple of instances where my ex tried to contact me, but obviously I wasnt interested and my husband knew this ( this happened before we got married) ... and it wasnt a problem because he trusted me , and he knew it was my exs problem... the same with his ex, she tried to call and text him ..but I actually worried about it because I knew she had a little bit of craziness to her ( we live in a small town, everyone knows everyone) , but just tried to put her behind us. ( I wasnt at all worried about my husband with her.. it was more like afriad she would slash my tires or things like that -- THAT kind of crazy) ...

So a little bit of time went by and we never heard from her and it was nice, then I heard that she has been asking everyone things about me, that she wants to know everything about me, and now she has been showing up at my work...I ama beautician and i work in a salon, she was never a client before, and now she comes in every 2 weeks.. i do not do her hair , so i try to ignore her, but one of my coworkers/friend ( who does her hair) said that she will come in for her appt. and if I am not there she will reschedule it ... Our salon ( my aunt owns it, and I am a partner ) ... has never been broken into or has any problems until after she started coming in to and now it has been broken into twice... and my station is the only thing that has been damaged ( my curling irons would be turned on and laid on something , and my pictures would be ripped up...I had a cute little frame with my baby's ultrasound picture in it, and it was taken ! and I KNOW that I have seen her drive past our house on a daily basis.. and we live out in the country, so it isnt like she has to go past our house...

I am afraid of her... my uncle is a cop and he said it would be hard to prove anything since there isnt actual proof that it is her doing all of this..

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:30 PM on Jun. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • hmmmm get a taser?

    Answer by Creasman at 9:34 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Some people need to grow up!! I'm sorry you fear her but don't let her know. And for now just don't bring personal items to work. Good luck hun.

    Answer by sugamama3 at 9:36 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • What a psycho! Your uncle is right. I would install a camera at your work for sure.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 9:36 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • What you need to do is set up camera's at the salon (hopefully catch her on video in the act) and at your home, just in case you goes from just driving by to actually trying something. I would also make sure you have good locks on windows and doors, ect. Also, you didn't mention telling your husband? I hope that you have told him all this, not that he can stop her, but so that he is aware of the situation if something were to happen to you, him, your home, ect.

    Answer by AF4life at 9:37 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • might be able to get a restraining order because you are being threatened by her presence

    Answer by monstersmommy20 at 9:39 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • yes we are having security camera installed at work, we have the senser lights at home, but we are looking into an alarm system... my co-worker / friend said she will drop her as a client ( which makes me feel bad because she was making alot of money off of her since she was coming in so often) ..

    But it is just scary, I mean thinking of it, how many things I am doing just to feel safe is crazy .... spending all this extra money for security systems just because of her... and after work I go to my inlaws or to my parents house until my husband comes home, so i wont be home alone.... and we have been planning on getting a puppy and maybe a kitten, but we wont because I am afraid she will do something to it while we are not home...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:41 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I agree with previous respondent - put cameras up. Also some of the anti-theft powder that makes skin glo once it's in contact with water, lol, she might not come back then! Sorry, I'm not trying to be flippant - it's serious and upsetting for you. Could you call her bluff and get either your DH or your uncle to say to her that you have evidence linking her to the crimes but no further action will be taken if she moves out of your life. Try your best not to worry about things that haven't happened - imagination can go crazy when we are under stress. Take good care.

    Answer by ItsHalfFull at 9:45 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I feel your pain. my DH's ex is crazy too. she is obsessed with my husband and even tho he has no interest in being with her (as he is married to me) she still thinks they can be together. unfortunately he's stuck dealing with her cuz they have kids together. she absolutely hates me and has tried nonstop throughout our entire relationship to try to break us up. she's absolutely pathetic and everyone is on to her BS and thinks she's crazy. fortunately for me she never leaves her house so I have no fear of ever having to run into her.

    in your case it sounds like she's harassing you by showing up at your place of employment which I would think would constitute a restraining order. I would ask your uncle about that. in NYS it's called aggravated harassment.

    Answer by mmsfirstone at 9:50 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Do you ladies have surveillance in the salon? If not I would invest in one. What does your husband say about all this? She does sound like a physco.when the salon got broken into did you get a police report? Did you mention that you have an idea of who might have done it. I know there's no proof but soon enough they will put two and two together. Im honestly scared for you. Please be careful goof to work, grocery store ect. I think the police should be notified regardless if they can do anything ..atleast you will have paper work indicating the incidents and who you think is responsible. Please keep is updated.

    Answer by suzzanna at 9:55 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • well my uncle said that if we got a restraining order right now just based that she is coming to my place of buisness, she could go back against me in court, ( maybe like trying to defame her) ... because she has never actually said anything to me ( when we first got together she told my husband she would kill me, but we deleted that text trying to ignore her) ..but when she comes to the salon, she doesnt say anything to me ( she just stares) ... but I really think that we are going to get one, because with the amount of things I could say she has done ( like what I have said here) ... i dont think a judge would blame me for feeling scared

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:56 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

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