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I feel bad for my friend

She recently told me that she is getting married to a guy who lives in another state. She said that she is moving to be with him once they are married, but the thing that bothered me is that she has 3 children and she is going to let them stay with their fathers instead of trying to get full custody and take her children with her. The reason she has to move is because her fiance has a son that lives in his town and he refuses to move away from him. I think she's making a mistake, should I say something to her or just wait to be there for her when she realizes that she made a mistake? I'd hate for her to ruin the relationship she has with her children.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on Jun. 21, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • I would say something. I can't even imagine leaving my kids for any reason. How sad.
    zoomomto3

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 10:02 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Eh, that is touchy. You don't want to tell your friend she is doing the wrong thing for the one she loves, you may just end up pushing her away, but you also don't want her to lose the relationship she has with her children. How far away will she be? Does she have a set arrangment so she will see them a resonable amount of time? I doubt she hasn't tought about this at all. Being a mother, for the most part, we think about our children all the time and what is best for them. If she is a good mother and you know that, maybe she just thinks her kids are better with their father and not leaving what they know.
    ILoveCade

    Answer by ILoveCade at 10:04 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I would say something, I couldn't imagine even thinking of leavng my kids behind,
    momto4girzls

    Answer by momto4girzls at 10:04 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • deff say somethin
    Creasman

    Answer by Creasman at 10:05 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Thats very sad, its very sad she is willing to leave her children and responsibilities for a man........if he wont leave his child, he should be fully supportive of her trying to get custody of hers or he should understand she isnt willing to leave hers......
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 10:06 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I would definitely tell her that this may not be the best thing for her or her kids. She is willing to sacrifice her family/ kids for this guy. Who isn't sacrificing anything! She plans on moving and leaving her kids behind. This will be hard on her kids..I know my mom did this tomy siblings and I when I was 14, my little sister was 9 and my brother was 10. This is not a good thing and he should know this because he have a child.
    suzzanna

    Answer by suzzanna at 10:11 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I would stay out of it. She made her choice and if she really wanted her kids with her, she would fight for it. Hopefully she has a visitation schedule set up. She isn't even trying for custody so to me that says she doesn't want them with her.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:13 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Yeah. What kind of woman could ditch her kids to be with some guy. She needs to get her priorities in check.
    bloomsr

    Answer by bloomsr at 10:26 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I would say something, it's sad and pathetic when a woman chooses a man over her kids. Tell her how you feel, and if she gets angry then oh well, at least you did your part.
    GomezMami2908

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 10:40 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • She told me that the guy lives in Louisiana and she lives in Texas. But that's still a 12 hour drive. I'm not sure if she has spoken to the father yet about her move.. Or if she has thought about a visitation schedule. I think I will say something to her next time I see her face to face.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:44 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

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