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2 Bumps

I'm NOT passing judgement, but

...reading some of the posts here makes me realise that I am so lucky to have a loving, gentle and thoughtful husband. He never shouts at me, is supportive and helpful and if there is ever a row no personal insults are thrown - I am exactly the same to him. I know everyone has different circumstances and I genuinely am not judging anybody. There was a violent and abusive beast in my life some years before I met my husband, but ultimately these men do not deserve a place in anyone's life. It took many years for me to trust again and I was very lucky indeed to find such a caring, compassionate man.

The selfish/aggressive/manipulative man usually wears your confidence and self-esteem down in a subtle way so you doubt whether you deserve better - well you most certainly do. He certainly doesn't deserve your love.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Jun. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Thank you !! I feel the same way.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 11:39 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I 2nd this. I read some of these posts and it breaks my heart. I do have a good and loyal man and know how lucky I am.
    zoomomto3

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 11:41 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I am glad I am not the only one!
    RedDahlia82

    Answer by RedDahlia82 at 11:42 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • You are so right. Thank God there are good men out there. I look at my kind, thoughtful 23 yr old son and often think how lucky the woman will be who married him. He is loyal, honest, and a real family man. (He loves children)
    GrammytoTrin

    Answer by GrammytoTrin at 11:43 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • Amen to that I feel super lucky to have the husband that I have, breaks my heart when I read posts of how abusive, cheating, mean, non-appreciative, non-loving husbands are out there.
    VanillaBlondie8

    Answer by VanillaBlondie8 at 11:43 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • You must be very proud of your son. It's good to hear messages about other caring men - they're def out there!!

    It's so sad to read how some ladies are treated by the very person that should be showing them love and support. It is very hard when you're brow-beaten and down-trodden by a sad excuse for a man - but there is usually a way to move on to a better life without him, it just might take some seeking. I dread to think what my life would be like if I hadn't broken free...would I even be here to tell the tale? Children living in these environments see it as normal and a pattern is usually formed. More should be done to help and support those living through it.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:54 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • I am with you OP. There are good ones out there, luckily I found one too :)
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 11:57 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • My 1st husband cheated time after time. I got tired of it and left with my 2 year old. I didn't want my son learning that is the way to treat a woman. I then met my current husband. He has supported me and my son and we went on to have 2 dd. We have been married for 16 years now and they have been going strong. I can't even imagine my life going in any other direction. I am so lucky.
    zoomomto3

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 11:59 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • that should have said WE have been going strong. LOL
    zoomomto3

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 12:01 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Yes I left the violent brute when my boy was 2.5 and I met my husband when my boy was 8. Much to my family's disapproval I did not remove my boy from his natural father's life - I knew there was no issue of violence towards him and the visits were in my control - full custody remained with me. As an adult now my son states that he loves his dad as his dad but doesn't like him very much! I never ran his father down in front of him, as I believed that to be unfair and inappropriate. He hardly ever sees his father now - my son's choice. If I'd have controlled the situation back then it is likely that he would resent me now. What a stupid man to jeopardize his relationship with his only son because he couldn't see the beauty in nurturing it! His loss. I haven't had to see or speak with him for 5-years now...the brute, I mean. My son loves and respects my husband who has in turn formed a lasting bond with him.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:40 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

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