Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Is it normalfor my5yr old to be bossy and rude to me?

Answer Question

Asked by betty88 at 12:22 AM on Jun. 22, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • It is normal that they try. It is not normal for you to let her get away with it. If you don't get a handle on it right now..I don't want to even think about the same child as a teenager will be like. Set boundaries, set consequences and follow up every single time.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:25 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • i agree with grandma, they all test their limits but you have to put them in their place, if you have let things slide through the toddler years it may be a bit more of a struggle for her to listen to you, but if you havent it shouldnt take long for her to realise what time it is.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 12:29 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Every child will see what they can get away with. It won't always be the same thing, but they will try in some way. I have read that mommy daughter relationships tend to be more vocal because we talk more than our male counterparts, so more often than not your daughter will test you because she is comfortable with you. Strong minded children do better with consistent positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement tends to backfire.

    Answer by Gingerwheel at 12:31 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • You can give him some warning and ask him if he doesnt stop being rude that he will lose his toys and than when he stops being bossy and rude you can give him one toy at a time!!

    Answer by ljmommy1211 at 12:33 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • No thats not will only do what you let them do. You need to let her know it wont be tolerated and let her know why it will not be tolerated. I have a six yr old he tries to talk back sometimes but all I have to do is take the xbox away or tv time.

    Answer by suzzanna at 12:34 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • You cannot fix negativity with negativity. Set boundaries in this way: If she sasses you, do not humor it. Ignore her. Walk away. Let her stew on why you are doing that. If she were 2, you couldn't do that, but she is 5 years old and knows how to figure things out. When she comes to you happy and respectful, she will if you outlast her, respond even happier and she will see what she has to do to get your attention. I have been a nanny for a family of 4 young girls and 3 young girls, I have never had to raise my voice or punish using this method. It never took longer than a week for me, but since you are her mama it might take longer because of how comfortable she is with you.

    Answer by Gingerwheel at 12:39 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • it's normal, my daughter tries to too and she's 9. Just don't let her get away with it. My DH wont let her anyways

    Answer by marinebrats at 12:44 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I agree with other respondents that it's great that your child is confident to try new approaches and test the water with you. I have always been keen to find the right balance with my boy - I don't let him be rude or bossy with me in as much as I don't meet with his demands and I teach him appropriate ways of communicating. However, I've been keen for him to retain some of his spirit to support him in the outside world - kids can be so mean and cruel I wanted him to know assertiveness is good but bullish/bossy behaviour is not! He can stand up for himself well - he's confident and assertive but non-aggressive. He's well behaved and polite when in others' care too.

    Answer by ItsHalfFull at 1:01 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Yep. they are really testing limits for the first time. Nip, nip, nip this in the bud. A bossy, rude 5 y/o will be a really obnoxious teenager.

    Answer by elasmimi at 7:31 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • i think most children are bossy at times, demanding also. if you don't stop the problem before it gets really bad or a habit, you might end up with a huge problem down the road.

    Answer by daerca574 at 9:33 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.