I am so glad that I learned that parenting without punishment is possible, and that I decided to adopt that as a primary goal. That was a key decision. (I am even more glad that I got more skilled in HOW to proceed from this point of departure, lol, but that is less about "deciding." But it is a great feeling to believe in it AND to be skilled and connected, so it really is peaceful parenting rather than simply permissive parenting. lol)
Another key decision was to recognize that children can have their feelings, because this helped me stop fighting them & escalating the problem. I can validate & accept feelings (I don't "have" to punish/stop tantrums, for example, nor do I have to feel intense discomfort or irritation around them.) The decision to commit to validation & empathy was a huge determining factor for my parenting.
at 7:52 AM on Jun. 22, 2011