Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My Eighteen year old son bought his father a nice gift for fathers day. On mothers day, my son and I went out to dinner; I paid. There have been other things going on, similar to this. I feel vsf. Should I? P.S. My son has a job.

That should be: I feel "bad". Sorry for the typo.

Answer Question
 
zoey1110

Asked by zoey1110 at 3:09 AM on Jun. 22, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I would ask your son what is up? Why does he expect you to take yourself out to dinner for your day yet he does for his father on his own. Maybe he is just closer to his dad?? Are you and his dad together?
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 3:23 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Sounds like you got stiffed. I would ask why he spends more time, money and thought into his father and none for you.
    Imogine

    Answer by Imogine at 3:34 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I agree, I would ask him why he bought his father something but not you.
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 3:51 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Hi. It sounds like something is between you and your son. Even though sons do seem to connect closer to their dads and daugjters to their moms, it sounds like your son is mad at you. Try asking about it and see what is up.
    Mamita2718

    Answer by Mamita2718 at 3:57 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I agree with everyone, just talk to him. He is a male, enough said. Lol . So he might not even realize the difference he is making. Good luck
    RelaxedMom2-3

    Answer by RelaxedMom2-3 at 6:20 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I'd say the opposite of everyone else.....I'd guess that you son is confident in his relationship with you, and feels a need to impress his Dad. Besides, isn't what matters most the fact that he spent time with you. Do you really need material goods to feel validated as a mother? I doubt it. This is just jealousy, don't put that on your son.
    Kimedbs

    Answer by Kimedbs at 8:03 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • When he gave his dad his father's day gift, you could have spoke up then and said something like "well i didn't get a mother's day gift, what's up with that"?
    Honda309

    Answer by Honda309 at 6:44 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Sometimes we have cookouts for Mother's day & Father's day to have our kids & grandkids over, and we pay for all the food. My husband has commented on it before & said something like "why are we having this cookout & paying for everything to have them come over, shouldn't they pay for this for mother's day & father's day or take US out for dinner or have us over at their house for cookout or something? lol I just laugh it off and say oh well you know how kids are, they will let us parents pay for it if we will. lol
    Honda309

    Answer by Honda309 at 6:47 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Could it be that he knew if he didn't get his dad something he'd never hear the end of it? And he didn't do that for Mother's Day because he's confident enough in his relationship with you he knew you wouldn't give him a hard time?
    My DH puts up with this crap from his parents. His dad expects him to jump when he says anything. Not ok.
    sweetiepye2004

    Answer by sweetiepye2004 at 11:58 AM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • It's hard to call this one... on mother's day, I will get to see both my daughter and son and some years they get me a gift or card and sometimes they don't. On Father's day, daddy gets to see both daughter and son and some years they get him a gift or card but sometimes not. I know it all has to do with whether at the time they have enough money. I would venture to say that maybe he was running low on cash at that time. It could have been something as simple as that. I know in our situation that's what's going on and I can tell it because the kids will bring up, "oh mom, I wanted or was going to get you this or that but",, I just smile and hug em and say well you just got me the best gift, seeing you today :) I chalk it all up to they were most likely broke on that day.
    mamamia578

    Answer by mamamia578 at 8:14 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.