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4 Bumps

Young children who "bully", at this stage it is making fun of her

my child is not yet 4
she has speech delay (autism)
the kids in neighborhood (lots of them)
some will make fun of her speech
i have tried saying lots of things like

in past i have used the positive approach, give kids an option to be nice-complainment them (you are big, you are smart, you can be helpful)
- no one is good at everything
- you big kids can help her with her words
-she can learn so much from you big kids, because you have great words
-you are smart enough that you know what she is saying
-it is not nice to make fun of others

having problem with a few kids -aged four and five who start the making fun of my daughter- it is now pretty common game to laugh at her
yesterday two kids (4 and 5.5, only ones out there, we go out, they make fun of her, then go straight to play on her swingset - i tell boys NO, you can not make fun of her then go to play on her toys - what more can i do?
have spoken to oneof the boys parents
i am the only parent out there 90% of the time

(i think) she is starting to kind of see that this is not nice of the other kids, can not express it yet, and just starting to seem to understand that these kids are making fun of her and not laughing with her - still notfully getting, but it breaks my heart

do i speak to the parents AGAIN about their kids, or just kick the kids out of the yard EVERY time they tease her even a little bit (my yard is the cool place to play) seems that this will be my currency to use against these little kids

how can i make a lesson in not making fun of little kids with delays stick in their little heads

and, i worry, next Fall she will be in a real school with mostly "typical" kids, last year was in special education where 85% of kids have delays


Asked by fiatpax at 8:11 AM on Jun. 22, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • hugsAww sweetie,i really feel your pain. A few years back my son was being teased by the neighbor kids who would stand outside his bedroom window and make fun of his speech. When I confronted the moms,they told me it was their yard too and they could do whatever they wanted. My son knew he was being made fun of. i know its not normally recommended,but I keep him away from the non-handicapped kids. the kids with issues are more understanding and loving. I'd like to tell you that it gets better,but the older theyget,the meaner they get when they notice differences between them. My hope for you is that your daughter finds that special friend or two that embraces the differences and loves her for who she is,not what makes her different.


    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:56 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I think you should talk to the parents again, and yes, if they are on your property teasing your daughter.......they should be asked to leave until they can learn to act properly!!!!

    Answer by Dahis at 8:13 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • do not allow them in the yard unless they can be nice. And send them home if they are unkind. Stay calm and matter of fact about it. Nice stays and unkind leaves. Be as nice to them as possible while they are visitng. And you might even thank them for playing nice when they leave.

    Answer by whitepeppers at 8:19 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I agree w/ Dahis. I would only add that you need to reassure your dau, that not all kids are like that. You will have to help her develop some coping skills, or "comebacks" if you will, when she is in school. She will also notice teasing of other kids for various reasons. At least then she will know its not just her! (sad but true) I hope she makes lots of friends when she starts school, or at the very least a couple of really good ones, so she has a safe place to turn if or when it happens again. GL! :)

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:19 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • If they cannot treat your daughter as she should be treated, they shouldn't be in your yard.
    I am so sorry this is happening to your daughter at this age and that the parents aren't stepping up.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:20 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • It is your yard, and more importantly here, it's your daughter's yard. If those kids can't be kind to her, they can play elsewhere. I would talk with the parents again and let them know that because the situation has gotten worse you will be sending kids home when they start making fun of your little girl. A child at that age knows it's not right and it needs to be stopped while they are young.


    Answer by scout_mom at 8:29 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I am so sorry. I can understand your frustration.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:18 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Are parents just letting the children come over to your yard with no warning, and nobody coming with them, aside from the bullying, the last thing you need is one of the kids to get hurt and have a lawsuit.. I think a one on one play date is the best idea, it might help her come out of her shell, and the other child would get to know her. I think you need to talk to the parents about the kids making fun of her, but alos set some boundaries about them just "coming over". I would say that your daughter would love to play WITH them, but it would be nice if you came and asked before just running into my yard, I would be very firm that there is no making FUN of anyone, each other or your daughter,,good luck momma,, so sorry that kids can be so mean.

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:23 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • My 5yo is bullied at our apartment complex... it ranges from them not letting him play their games (he'll be the only one left out) to full on shoving him and pushing him down. I've spoken to one mom of a 9yo who seemed to think my son needed to toughen up. He's mean to ALL the kids half his age. The rest of them want to play with my DS when he's' got cool toys out, and ignore him otherwise. He's got two friends his age that I never have to worry about, and as much as I can I encourage him to play with them, and only them.
    Is there a way you could find some friends for your daughter and arrange play dates with kids who won't pick on her?

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 8:30 AM on Jun. 22, 2011


    Answer by TOOT5 at 8:33 AM on Jun. 22, 2011