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Did you bond instantly with your baby at birth or did it take some time?

A bunch of my friends and coworkers and myself all had babies w/in 6-ish months of eachother. We always talked about not being able to wait for the moment we meet our babies and have that special moment that we heard about all the time. Everyone of them admitted to bonding right away with their baby and being super happy and so excited they couldnt sleep because they stayed awake to watch their baby sleep because they were so in love.... I didnt have this, not even close. I didnt feel like he belonged to me ( was on a ton of pain meds) and I just wondered how common that was.


Asked by mitchellb at 8:57 AM on Jun. 22, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 17 (4,346 Credits)
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Answers (15)
  • With my first I did not bond instantly. In fact it was like someone I didn't know had dropped there child off at my house. It took me a good few weeks to really get to know him and bond with him. He was a c-section maybe that was it-but I did go through over 36 hour of labor- maybe it was because I was afraid my entire pregnancy we couldn't afford him- but we made it fine-Maybe it was because he was the first new born I had ever been around- maybe it was just how it was/something I had no control over at all/caused by nothing. I have no idea. But with my second it was instant love.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 9:13 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • My baby was in the NICU - I didn't hold him until he was over a week old....I felt extremely guilty we didn't bond until I was off all meds, BUT I wasn't on any with my 2nd and it took a couple months to bond with him also, but he had colic among other problems. They are 6 & 8 now and we couldn't be closer-don't worry IT IS NORMAL.

    Answer by Tnamari at 9:04 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I instantly bonded with my daughter from the moment she first came out. It is the most amazing thing when you have been pregnant for nine(9)whole months and the moment you have that alien(IT'S A JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BUT YOU GET IT)is so wonderful. I told my husband it was worth all the pain I went through for those entire nine(9)months.

    Answer by SyaSya at 9:14 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • i did feel an instant conecction with my dd but i did end up gettin post partum ..which made me feel like there was no bond and that i was a bad mom bc i didnt love her ..well not the case ...this one im haveing a hard time bonding with him/her during my pergancy..this one is soo unknown to bc wit dd i am use to hearing there is something wrong..this one everythings good so far but in 6mre weeks i mayb on bed rest im thinks its jst nervers

    Answer by rachel216 at 9:54 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • * I guess I should have said, it is normal for some of us*

    Answer by Tnamari at 9:05 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Nope, not instant. It built up over time. And I had no drugs, and no PPD. I did feel like a loser mom for not feeling that instant thing everybody talks about though. Maybe my labour was too short? Dunno.

    Answer by Tracys2 at 9:08 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I bonded with all three of my girls..instantly‚ô•

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 9:43 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • With two of mine I bonded quickly. With a third child my reaction wasn't so accepting. My first thought was that he wasn't as handsome. But within a day or two the love started flowing and now they are all equal. i th ink I wasn't as ready for the third one as the other two as this was unplanned.

    Answer by SecondMom59 at 10:14 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • having the drug or not can make a big difference in this... with my first two I was young and foolishly thought I had to have them because I was not told otherwise and they made me tire after having the baby I wanted to sleep... with my next two I refused them and had a wonderful rush/time after. Please you maybe suffering from post postpartum... MAKE SURE you talk to your doctor and tell him how you feel. This is natural... there is help out there and it is nothing to be ashamed of. So tell your doctor and they will help you.

    Answer by Mommy_Aiken at 11:19 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • i didnt have that instant feeling with my first, and I think thats because I knew I was going to put her up for adoption. But I'm 9 weeks pregnant now and I already have a huge connection, so don't worry too much. Everybody and every pregnancy is different.

    Answer by mydarlingsofia at 11:42 AM on Jun. 22, 2011