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my mom lives 5 hours away, she has been married to my dad for 33 years. she has been abused in everyway possible. he is a sociopath and the biggest narcissitic I have ever seen in my life. i have no contact with him. well she has been watching him for a month and he is calling and writing love letters to one of his therapy doctors. he calls her on her cell phone at night . my mom finally said enough(this is from someone who has been beat down her whole life) and came up here to live with me. the problem is---he is not backing down. she told him she wanted a divorce and he is acting psychotically. he calls twice a minute(yues its possible) all day everyday until she turns her phone off. he calls and says people will get hurt if she goes through with it and "blood will be shed" . also last night he called and said that he is going to go kill the 2 guys she dated in high school a year before they even met. he is psycho. i cannt take it anymore. this has been going on since monday. my life is turned completely upside down because my family is very normal but yet we are dealing with this. she wants to find a place of her own now but i do not feel like she is safe from him...i do think he would hurt possibly kill her. she has threatened restraing orders but he just says they are only for 14 days and if she does that then he will come after her. she is saving money for the divorce but i am freaking out 24/7 thinking he is going to break into my house and mess with my family. i cant take it ,

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:19 AM on Jun. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Go forward with the restraining order. Record all of this. Phone calls, messages, the amount of times he calls, and so on.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 9:21 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • You NEED to get the authorities involved on this. And she needs to not delete her call log and if he sends any texts she needs to save them so she has proof about his behavior. I really hope everything works out for you and your mother.
    AF4life

    Answer by AF4life at 9:23 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • she thinks a restraining order would piss him off and he would retaliate. she wants to wait and she said if he shows up here then she will do the restraining order.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:23 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • No she needs to get it NOW. Tell her if she gets the restraining order while living with you it will help protect her grandbabies too.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 9:24 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • DOCUMENT EVERYTHING..........get the order...........PRAY.......God Bless mama, you and your family will be in my prayers!!
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 9:25 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Of course it will piss him off she she gets the order but it's good for a yr but she needs to have all of this documented. My x was nuts like him and he backed off once he saw I was serious and got the order. As long as she doesn't get it he sees he's still in control. Narcissists hate losing control over another person. You can contact his therapy doctor and get him to work on anger issues with dad to get through the transition to a divorce.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:27 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • First if she is living with you and he's threatening "people" you may be able to get the restraining order for her/your family's protection. Secondly if he's having an affair with his therapist that therapist needs reported and her license yanked which will happen if the proper people know. Keep records of everything. Usually phone records will only show a call if the voicemail picks up a sound so unless he's leaving a voicemail EVERYTIME he calls it may not show up as much. Call the phone company and see if they can put something on your phone that way everytime you get a call from him you hit a # right after the phone is hung up and it'll send that # to the police station then they WILL have at the very least a harrasment charge
    StefInfection

    Answer by StefInfection at 9:34 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Isn't that funny how when we are in this position we want to protect the ones that hurt us. That just shows that your Mom is sweet and deserves better than this. She must with your support break the cycle. She was strong enough to endure it for so long ..she can endure this. Don't let him win with his threats. It's just all part of the control. Don't be afraid to protect yourself. Don't be afraid to let him hear you are not afraid and you are not being controlled by his threats. Put the restraining orders on him. Change your phone numbers. Has she ever called the police on him? He sees a Dr. because he has problems. this is proof enough. Get protection. Call his shrink. Call the hotline. Call the police. educate yourselvesDon't stop fighting. You don't think he would kill her but one wrong move or temper lash out and it could happen. Break the cycle.!!!!! I'm praying for you. You and Your Mom deserve a good life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • First get a restraining order for your family & her. Then go to her local police dept. & yours explain what he said including the death threats against her & her old BF's & ask what else can be done. Then get a Divorce Attorney & proceed with the divorce. She is entitled to 1/2 their assets including the home if it is under their names. Get started today. If he comes around her or you after the restraining order is in place, he will be arrested & hopefully a judge will see his erratic mental state & have him put in Psychiatric care as well. Maybe you can even have him committed for mental evaluation. Call an Attorney today. GL!

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:49 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • A restraining order can be PERMANENT. I got one against my daughters father. If he violates it he will go to jail.
    shar-hulk

    Answer by shar-hulk at 9:52 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

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