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What would you do if.......

Your ex showed up for the first visitation in 2 months when he gets every other Sat, to pick your child up with a car seat that was too small for your child? Last time, I told my ex he could use mine BUT he needed to get a new one before the next visit as me and my DH share a car, if my DH is at work when my ex picks her up, I won't have the car seat. Well this past time my ex came with the same car seat. Now my DD is probably 2 or 3 inches to tall for it and unfortunately, my DH was at work, wouldn't be home till 5:30, half an hour after the visit was over. Also my mom has a car seat since we often go places with her but she was 45 min away. I told my ex that he either needs to go get a new car seat or he wasn't taking her. He said I am not following the CO but really, if he doesn't have a car seat that fits her with about 2 months notice that he needed to get a new one, what am I supposed to do. Anyway, he said it wasn't worth getting a new one because by the time he got back, he would only have about 3 hours left of his visit (I couldn't extend it because my DD was going to a birthday party at 6, an hour after he was supposed to drop her off). He says I was in contempt BUT what else could I have done?

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Asked by JLS2388 at 10:43 AM on Jun. 22, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 25 (25,280 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Safety first.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 10:45 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • He should be responsible enough to know that putting a child in a carseat that is too small is dangerous. I really don't think you would be in contempt since you gave him a very fair notice (2 months) on the issue.

    Answer by AF4life at 10:46 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I would talk to the courts and tell them that you aren't comfortable with him taking her in that seat.. she isn't safe in it.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:46 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I would have done exactly as you did. I am not sure if you have a playground or anything he could walk to, but i would have suggested that if possible. I wouldn't accommodate a person who hasn't seen his daughter in 2 months. He doesn't deserve it.

    Answer by Gingerwheel at 10:48 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • He would be laughed at if he uses the fact that he was not prepared for his daughter's safety for her visit. What an idiot.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 10:50 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • gingerwheel, there is a park but due to fires all around the area it's VERY smoky outside, it's not good for playing PLUS we live in FL so in was like 92 degrees at that point.
    My other thought was, it's not even my job to let him know when it's time for a new car seat, last time, I could have easily just told him he wasn't taking her and not let him use my car seat but I chose to be the nice guy and I guess he expected that again....

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 10:56 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I would have let him take the child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Anon, what car seat would he have used? We are talking about a 4 year old who is the size of a 3 year old, so she HAS to be in a car seat. Our state law says anyone under 80 LBS should be in a car seat or a booster and under 40 lbs should be a car seat.

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 11:04 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I don't think, under the law, you can keep him from taking him on his CO visits, regardless of what car seat he has. I believe I've heard of people calling the authorities of the other parent doesn't have a car seat at all, but not if it's too small. Do you have sole custody? That may change things as far as safety issues go. I don't know. You may want to contact the court and ask what can be done.

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 1:18 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I actually called my lawyer and asked him if I could stop him and he said that if he doesn't have a car seat that fits properly, I can't be forced to let him take her. In fact, if I did and he got in an accident where she was hurt because the car seat was too small, I could be in trouble too because I knew about it. Plus even if he took me to court for contempt, he would have to explain to the judge why after 2 months notice, he couldn't get a car seat that fit and wanted to take her in a car seat that was too small

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 4:10 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

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