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I feel so old.

I'm 22, almost 23 years old. I had my son when I was 18, almost 19. Since my son was born I have left his father (alcoholic, imature, all around ass) I have had to find my own place (almost own now), I have a car paid off, and I have a steady, fairly good paying job. All I do is work out in the morning, work, take care of my son after work and go around again.

I just feel like I didn't get to be a dumb teenager but I'm okay with that. I have friends but they are all in their 30s. They say that when I talk about people my age drinking and partying I sound like an old lady. I don't see the appeal of drinking and acting stupid. I have never been to a bar or club.

I have not dated since I left my ex (father to my son, I use the term father loosely). I have been hit on quite a few times and asked out but I just have no interest. I feel like having someone romantically in my life will slow me down or complicate my life.

I just feel like I'm already halfway done with my life. I couldn't be happier about how I am raising my son but sometimes at night I think about what do I do when my son turns 18? I'll be 36 and have no one to take care of.

Has anyone ever felt like this? I can't be having a mid-life crisis now can I? How do I get out of this funk?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Jun. 22, 2011 in Health

Answers (11)
  • Oh definitely.. take some nights out! Every good mother deserves it.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 11:31 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • You sound very responsible to me. Not old at all. You have your life on track and that is awesome.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 11:31 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Wanted to add that you deserve to go out and relax with some friends.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 11:32 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Take a deep breath and recognize that your priorities are different than your age-matched peers because of the gift of your son. There is nothing wrong with it. Actually, I think it's beautiful that you have taken that road rather than just being an irresponsible mother.

    When you are 36, you will see the world so differently than you do today. I'm 41, and I can't begin to describe how different my life is now than what I anticipated back when I was 21. I do think you need to do a better job at living for today, rather than fussing over a future you can't begin to fathom. :-)

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 11:36 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I don't believe you should feel 'old'. You have life experiences and the responsibilities of a wiser woman. She are being a good mother. I believe that should be a source of pride and proof of strong character.

    Answer by tangledteach at 11:36 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Don't be so hard on yourself, mama :) You had a child and you ended up being a single mom and you are taking care of business!
    Drinking, clubbing, partying...all that doesnt fill everyones idea of fun..and thats okay! That isnt what being 20-something is about.
    Just enjoy life.Period.In every little thing that you do..enjoy it.You have to find your inner happiness..its in there..just reach in and grab it.
    What kinds of things do you want to experience in this life? Take yourself and your son out on a mini vacation..spend a weekend at the beach.
    As for a relationship with a man...when one comes along that strikes your'll be interested.YOu just havent met what your heart is looking for yet.
    You have many many years to live.Chances are 10 years from now...your life will be completely different from now.Remember this..your life is and will always be what YOU make of it.So make it what you want.;)

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:37 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • you seem really responsible and i believe you do deserve a good night out. take a chance and meet someone knew and see where it leads and if you dont think so then just drop it, it wont hurt to try and i mean you seem really responsible and reliable so i believe you will know how to hand it if you do seem to believe its complicating some of your every day excersices

    Answer by perezkiara at 11:47 AM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • hun im a 23 almost 24 year old mom of a 5 year old little boy...
    i got prego at 17 had him at 18 and it was a sahm (stay at home mom) and i left my ex hubby because of drugs,and the fact he put his hands on my son,he verbaly/mentaly/emotionally abused me......he spent our bill money on drugs and clothes for himself....he never bought food,clothes for me and the friends and family helped me out with that....but see you work,i know you are in a funk and it sucks!! its just a phase....go out have some fun,enjoy a night to yourself...i know that probably sounds mean but us moms need a break no and then....we need a spa day or something every once in a while......GO OUT AND MEET NEW PEOPLE....

    Answer by SMALLfry05 at 12:12 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I am going to be 25 next month & I have a 3 1/2 yo. I get what you mean & often times have felt the same way as you do. I look at it this way though now I get to have my mid life crisis in peace =) I know some nutty 40 & 50somethings having lots of fun! I anticipate to be just like them totally crazy & dont care hehe

    Answer by Mel30248 at 5:44 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • even if you don't want to date until your son is older, you still have tons of life left! I only met my dh when i was 30, and since then we have lived in 3 different countries, had 5 children and started (and run) our own business. I am only 41 now, and as the end of breastfeeding nears, I envision full nights sleep on the horizon, and i feel younger and younger all the time!!!
    you will have new people and new fun in your life when you are ready for it.

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 5:48 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

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