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should i get a divorce right now?

my husband and i have been together for about 20 years we have been married 14 out the 20 years we dated in high school.we have two daughters ages 11 and 9 the 11 yr old is special needs and wheelchair bound.he doesn't help me with her and she takes alot of my attention so i don't get a lot of housework done but he wont get off his butt to help he just complains that im not doing any work,right now he has a shoulder injury so i'm doing a lot his chores plus trying to take care of the girls but nothing i do is good enough,we have a wheelchair ramp off our deck it gets pretty slippery in the winter or if it rains real hard and me and my daughter had an accident on the ramp going to school she was not hurt but i skinned my knee instead of asking if we were ok he decides to get rough with me and calls me an idiot and a loser and unfit to be my girls mother.

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Asked by indjan at 11:50 AM on Dec. 13, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • i should add that he never shows affection unless he wants sex and calls me names and a lot of verbal abuse.with him being on medical leave should i divorce him in the bad economy or should hold on and wait?

    Answer by indjan at 11:53 AM on Dec. 13, 2008

  • Well anyone that calls you name, yes is an idiot themselves. Sounds like he is having some issues. I would have a sincere conversation with him, start by telling him exactly what you are feeling and then yes, give him an ultimatum.

    Answer by pupmom at 11:54 AM on Dec. 13, 2008

  • I should have read your next post first. Obviously this is causing you concern. I would strongly recommend that you have a talk with a lawyer. No one has to put up with abuse of any kind girl, verbal or physical, it's wrong.

    Answer by pupmom at 11:55 AM on Dec. 13, 2008

  • This does sound like a very abusive relationship. I hope you know that nothing he says is true. You are a damn good mother for working so hard for your children. It can't be easy keeping up with them. This imperfect state of your home is just an indication of how hard you work for your daughter and how you have your priorities straight. Your husband sounds like a d*ck (i'm sorry to be crass). If he's been like this for a long time and you don't think he'll change then you need to get out regardless of the economy. You need to be in an emotionally supportive environment right now, not an abusive one. Think of how his behavior is affecting your children. You need to get into a more healthy place for all of you.

    Answer by beckcorc at 1:03 PM on Dec. 13, 2008

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