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3 Bumps

What is likely to happen with my house in my divorce?

I'm trying to gather information and make a plan for filing from divorce from my husband of two years. we have 2 very young daughters (3 and 17 months), who I stay home and care for. He works full time, although isn't careful about his hours and doesn't put much effort into his job, which has always been iffy as far as highs and lows and keeping employees. he's never been let go from there, but they do it often and he has been demoted in the past.

Long story short, I'm miserable. He makes no effort to take care of his kids. When he does have to watch them while I'm in class 2 nights a week, I come home after 4 or 5 hours and their diapers are soaked through hanging off of them, he doesn't feed them dinner, doesn't do anything except tend to his own activities while they hang around him. This and many, many other issues have led me to this end.

We bought our house a year ago. It's in his name, as my credit was destroyed bailing us out of financial difficulties and any bills in my name, he feels are solely MY problem, even though we mutually decided I would stay home with the kids while he worked. HOWEVER, although the house is in his name, I did sign some papers (can't remember what they were) and the whole reason we HAVE the house was that my grandparents generously provided a very large down payment (70,000 dollars), so that our mortgage is reasonable. They've also given us money for house payments or groceries when we've come up short since then. While it is my fault for destroying my own credit years ago (albeit, because at the time HE couldn't help us, so I did), he is a horribly irresponsible spender, and on paychecks where we have to pay our mortgage, we often come up short.

My question is, even though ONLY my family has contributed and are the reason we are in the house in the first place, am I the one who will have to leave, since it's only in his name? I plan on working to support myself and the girls after the divorce, and feel confident in my ability to cover the payments....did i completely screw myself and my family over? Are these things pretty cut and dry when it comes to settling a divorce? I feel like he will fight for the house, and I'm scared he will get it, and I did it to myself.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Jun. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Laws are different in different states. Here where I live what's his is mine regardless of who actually owns it. Some states you are screwed and its his only. As for the down payment, that was a gift, nothing you can do. These are just my thoughts, not fact. I'm sorry this is happening to you, just learn from your mistakes and take care of your babies.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 1:07 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I'm in Idaho, I guess I should research the laws....thanks for the input, I appreciate it.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:09 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • depends on the laws, more than likely you will need to sell. if not let him buy you out of the house, since your grandparents gave you the large downpayment. but you should talk to an attorney first.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 1:27 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Good luck, here's a bump.
    .MhacFoirfe.

    Answer by .MhacFoirfe. at 1:53 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • So your name isn't on the deed? The deed is one thing and the mortgage another. Before you do anything relating to a divorce you should look into putting your name on the deed to the house.
    Syphon

    Answer by Syphon at 1:56 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • go to a lawyer, they sometimes give free consultation. they may tell you what you need to get in order first. was it a check your family gave you for the house, ask them to see if they have that check. go to the real estate agent you worked with for the house and ask to see if they can give you copies of the papers you signed. are you sure you aren't entitled to 50 % in your state. i'm in fl and it's a 50 -50 state. ask friends or family if they divorced to get a better idea.
    good luck
    SnapIt

    Answer by SnapIt at 3:43 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

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