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I have a question for women who are with men with previous children...

My SO has a son that is 7 and I had thought we had bonded. The other day at field day at school one of his classmates asked if I was his mother and he said "No she isn't even my friend." I am by know means trying to replace her (she lives across the counrty) and I know he misses her but my feelings are really hurt. I tried explaining to him that I'm not trying to be his mother but I love him and care for him. Any advice would be appreciated?


Asked by June_Mama09 at 1:09 PM on Jun. 22, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 26 (26,054 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I agree with Shaken. He is probably trying to be cool in front of his friends. I bet that secretly inside he feels bad about saying it and even worse that you overheard him saying it.

    He is also probably dealing with some anger issues because he is so far removed from his bio-mom and taking it out on the easiest person to take it out on... you.
    < as a step-mom myself, those are my best educated guesses. He is not in the right, but what you said to him was appropriate.

    It hurts.... I know.

    Answer by superclutz at 1:59 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I would say it is more of trying to be cool in front of his friends than stating actual feelings. Kids that age don't always think how the words they use can hurt someone else. But I would let him know that he hurt my feelings.

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 1:17 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • my sd always loved me at that age..i also made it clear that i wasnt trying to replace her mother..maybe give him some space and just tell him when he is ready you are there to be his friend..and sorta go from there..i def would not try to go outta my way to be his buddy..he knows who is there for him it will just take him a little time to come around..good luck

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 1:12 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Maybe you guys can start doing more things together. A few years ago my step son, my husband and I were all sitting in the living and my husband asked my step son, " do you love her?" He quickly replied Nope...I cried like a baby. He said because I didn't love him. I don't know why he thought that but I started doing more things with him. Now 2 yrs later he calls me mom. I didn't ask him to he just did all the sudden. I suggest talking to your son and let him know you are not trying to replace his mother you are just trying to be a good parent and thou love him just as if he was your own.

    Answer by suzzanna at 1:46 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I'm guessing he was trying to look cool in front of his friends. Maybe talk to him and let him know that you care about him a lot and your sorry that He feels that way.

    Answer by KamiB79 at 3:01 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • as long as u guys get along at home and u know he enjoys being and doing things together i wouldnt read too much into it ! 7yr. old boys are very unpredictable. maybe he just didnt know how to respond to the question or wasnt sure how to introduce u to his friends? just a thought good luck!!!!

    Answer by gagesmom8 at 3:47 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • It sounds like he was trying to look cool in front of his friends. I would ask him about it the next time you and him have some time to talk.

    Answer by dixiegurl223626 at 11:46 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Not sure, bump.

    Answer by Samanthamommy at 3:07 PM on Jun. 23, 2011

  • Hmm no help here my so only has kids with me :) Maybe he was trying to be the "cool kid?"

    Answer by DomsMama07 at 1:50 AM on Jun. 23, 2011