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Why am I so stupid. After my dh makes me feel like crap here I am washing his clothes and ironing his work clothes. Why?

We are not talking right now because of something stupid that happened on Father's Day.
We were supposed to meet at a restaurant with my parents and because of a miscommunication he decided to stand me up. Instead of talking to me and trying to figure something out he got so upset and never showed up to the restaurant, left me with my parents embarrassed of what had happened. So now my dh is not talking to me, I have not seen him since Father's Day and I told myself I would not wash or iron his clothes until he talked to me about what happened and we're going on 4 days like this. Why am I here like an idiot washing his clothes and ironing even though I am so hurt by his actions. I have absolutely no problem asking for forgiveness or apologizing when I make a mistake but in this case I feel he needs to take responsibility for his behavior. What do you think?

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momplus01

Asked by momplus01 at 2:08 PM on Jun. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (281 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Why are you waiting for him to come talk to you.. why dont you go talk to him.
    Also... no one is making you feel the way you think are except yourself.. your own choices. You have the choice to shake it off or hold on to it. Why are you tearing yourself down? I encourage you to deal with your stuff first then go to your husband and talk to him.
    Lastly how is this working out for you? not good? Then what are you going to do about it?
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 2:14 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • i would at least want him to say sorry about the mess up with dinner. But I am washing my husbands clothes and keeping the house running while getting a divorce. I am just used to it and since paying the bills since he works and I am I stay at home mom. But do what is right for you. If you do not want to wash his clothes then keep doing what your doing. He will take to you soon I am sure. Mine would do that moping thing for awhile but got over it in a few days. Just hang in there.
    momindiana

    Answer by momindiana at 2:14 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I don't know what the misunderstanding or problem was, but not talking to you for 4 days! He's acting like a baby. Did you try to talk to him or text him or something and tell him that you guys need to talk about this?
    Ashoonik

    Answer by Ashoonik at 2:14 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • He's being childish by not talking to you for that long.
    I guess you could burn his clothes rather than wash and iron them,lol...BUT...is the initial miscommunication worth all this?
    One of you have to be the bigger person and confront the situation. Youre married to eachother...you have to do something.
    Sometimes a little time of silence is good for one another...saves a chance of saying something out of anger and and regretting your words. But 4 days..thats a bit much. I'd wash & iron his clothes. And tell him..heres my white flag on this babe.
    Everyone fights from time to time. It hurts, its sad and its hard.But its the way it is.Its the outcome of it that counts, how you guys handle it,get through it then get past it.
    Good Luck.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 2:19 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • You're probably washing his clothes because you want things to be normal again and housework is a way of feeling a sense of control over your world when you feel like it's falling apart.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • men have been doing this since the begining of time, BUT NOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED, If he can ignore you and trea you like crap for something that wasn`t even youre fault.I say you give him the same treatment and s3ee how he likes a taste of hisw own medicine. There is only one diffrence we can hold a grudge much longer..Men have needs like they need there laundry done house clean sex.....Just give him a little reality check on how high and mighty he is with out a clean house laundry and human affection (YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN).....Men all think oh nthey will do whyat there supposed to cuz im the man and i require it.....Show him a lesson....women are not dum and we can survive withiut them.....Don`t let him treat you like you  are some kind of maid at his becon call ,,,,good luck...

    mommysangel543

    Answer by mommysangel543 at 2:24 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • you haven't SEEN him, like he isn't coming home ?
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:24 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • I think your boy has some serious explaining to do. He sounds selfish and rude. Maybe I am wrong. Communicate with him. Let him know exactly what your thoughts ( not feelings) are. He is wrong, but I am not in your relationship. There could be some other core issues in your relationship. Let him open up to you and you do the same. Keep a good attitude and do not argue or get emotional. Stay logical. See if you can find the love again. Good Luck... sometimes it is the hardships which bring us to a greater place.
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 2:25 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • because marriage is worth the sacrafices, he is being immature, but sometimes I think we can be too.. I hate that hes acting that way, but Im no stranger to ridiculously immature responses and I would do the same thing. We have been together 8 years now and those things do not happen anymore. But we have aged and matured a lot over the years and had to work on learning how to properly communicate. But your not stupid at all..
    MommaB30

    Answer by MommaB30 at 2:35 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • Sounds like you are trying to show him you still love him through your actions and to be honest sometimes cleaning releases stress. Confront him gently. Tell him that his actions hurt and embarrassed you and you would like an explanation. Do it when things are calm enough in the household routine to do so. Make him a good dinner before you have what could be a quick conversation. Stay calm and don't lose your temper whatever his answer.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 2:45 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

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