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Why is my 4 yr old grandson so angry and does not listen?

My 4 yr old grandson seems so out of control. Short attention span and will not listen. Sometimes this leads to dangerous stiuations. He recently has had a little brother, but it is more than just jealousy. Took him to Y camp and he wouldn't even listen to the coaches. What punishment works! Need suggestions from the younger moms!

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Asked by helpgrammys at 2:16 PM on Jun. 22, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (2)
  • My first response is to laugh and say: Because he's 4? But that's not helpful so I'm thinking of a better answer.

    My daughter is 4 and has a LOT of the same problems you're describing in your grandson. I'm also remembering what we did for MY son when his little sister was born. He was 3.5 when she "invaded".

    We started my son in swim lessons after she was born. It gave hims something to do that he DID NOT have to share with his sister. That seemed to help. The only other thought I have is to try and get him into as many activities as you can, without over scheduling, to give him outlets for his energy and also the anger and resentment he probably feels towards his little brother. Also, emphasize what a big boy he is and try to find things he can do to help out (like getting a diaper and the wipes for diaper change).

    Answer by Rosehawk at 2:39 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

  • A lot of anger and frustration at this age is trying to have some control. Think about how upset you would be if someone else dictate every single aspect of your life for you the way you do for a child. This is the age where they start being aware that they have their own feelings, their own wants and even their own opinions...which often don't match. Its really easy to say "well I know whats best", or "they should just do what I say because I'm the grown up", but all you are doing is pushing them into a corner, and when they bust out, its not pretty. It doesn't always diffuse the situation, but try asking him why he's angry, ask him what he wants, give him choices and let him feel in control of his life just a little bit (the new sibling definitely doesn't help there), and then make discipline about correcting the problem at hand, rather than punishment. Its not a magic bullet, but IMO, it creates respect--for both of us

    Answer by thalassa at 3:29 PM on Jun. 22, 2011

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